Archie’s an idiot…or is he?

So Archie finally picked Veronica…WTF? you ask. Actually, we here at Single Gals completely understand this selection. Veronica is hot, rich, bossy and so much better than Archie. She’s also probably just as good in bed, if not better, than Betty, likes making “home movies” and probably doesn’t give a fuck about recycling or cooking. Betty is just too nice and always liked Archie more than he liked her. I think the moral of this story is, nice girls finish last and never like a guy more than he likes you.

I’ve attempted to be the nice girl in two recent relationships and got dumped, so I’m going back to my old ways of being a bitch…it worked for me when I was 22 and guys seemed to stick around a lot longer, even after I had broken their hearts. I thought I would start 2009 by being nice, having a positive attitude and putting together a vision board to create great karma around me that would eventually lead to great things. Unfortunately, here we are 6 months in and all this year has done is proven that “the Secret” is a load of crap. I no longer believe in karma and being optimistic all the time is really exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be evil or nasty, I just don’t want to give a crap, over think things and instead of constantly thinking about the future and what I want out of it, just live day to day and see where things go. You’d think after 70 years of being nice and getting dumped on, Betty would have figured this out too. So in essence, she had what was coming to her. I think she should turn things around, screw over Midge and date Moose…I always thought he was a hottie but then again I tend to like dumb guys with good bods.


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In response to the above…

Betty will prevail……

I agree with Single Chick that Archie is an idiot, but on the other hand I think that karma will bite Archie in the ass. Betty will be fine. She will get over her broken heart after bouts of crying, retail therapy and over eating. She will realize that she only liked Archie because he was unattainable, unwilling to commit and just not into her, the same reasons Archie likes Veronica.

Betty probably will end up with Moose, the big lovable lug who will adore her to the end. Archie will spend his whole life trying to live up to Veronica’s expectations and never quite make the cut. He will probably hit the bottle, gain 50 pounds and end up in a bachelor apartment eating fast food all because Veronica divorced his sorry ass and took him for everything he has.

So the lesson here is maybe without knowing it, the nice girl does win in the end, it just takes longer to see the fruits of our labour. However ladies never chase a man…that is where sweet Betty went wrong because they should be chasing us!!!


Cheers!
Single Gals

Today’s world of dating hasn’t really changed much since grade 7

Remember in grade 7 when you dated that guy for a week, hardly ever saw him, communicated to him through your friends and over the phone and then broke up with him either through your friends or over the phone? Well, even though I’m now in my 30’s, I’m starting to feel as though not much has changed with all this Facebook and text messaging shit. As my good friend said “It’s as though we’ve reverted back to adolescence via technology”. Unfortunately it’s actually “pre-adolescence”, which makes this recent observation even more shiteous.

Getting to know someone over text totally sucks and getting the “I’m not that into you” over Facebook sucks even more. What happened to people having some balls and actually having a face to face conversation…or even a voice to voice conversation? An acquaintance once gave this 37 year old Police Officer my number and we didn’t talk on the phone until after a week of texting. I had even asked when we were going to actually talk and his response was “Oh we’re not ready for that step yet…lol”. Oh really? What I should have texted back was “Lol…fuck off”. I never did meet up with him because I was so turned off the whole thing.

Let’s face it ladies, the art of verbal conversation is truly disappearing (as per the text message below…but at least the guy who wrote that text has some balls).




Technology seems to have created a man that can’t approach us (unless they’re drunk), can’t call us (why would they if they can text or poke you on Facebook?), can’t date us for more than 2 months (cause obviously after 2 months we want to get married and have babies) all of which leads to them never truly getting to know us as people but rather they get to know us as exclamation marks, LOL’s, TTYL’s and colon turned smiley faces. I am seriously starting to feel like one of those pre-teen girls, “hee, hee, hee, did he text, did he text?”. Hopefully this doesn’t mean that we’ll be going back to jelly shoes and bedazzled jean jackets. I think this video say’s it all




Cheers!
Single Gals

The day after the patio

What starts out as a nice girlie get together to chat about the week’s events and dating disasters turns into a big ole drunken pity fest. This leaves you sun-burnt, inebriated and stumbling home in your heels.

It is the morning after, your head feels like it is stuck in a vice grip, your stomach feels like you’ve just taken a ride on the Tilt A Whirl and you’re pretty sure you’ve lost your heel on the way home.

Here are 3 Single Gal tips to get you through the morning after:

1) ADVIL … really the only thing that is going to help with the pounding head at this point is Extra Strength Advil…take two. Preferably try and take them the night before the morning after.




2) GREASY BREAKFAST…Yes this actually helps the hangover so go ahead and fry up some eggs, bacon and home fries. Or better yet, go out to your local greasy spoon!




3) WATER… Lots n’ lots of water, you must re-hydrate your body. Dissolving a 1000mg vitamin C tablet in your water also works wonders!




In regards to that shoe you lost, well girlfriend here is your excuse to go shoe shopping. TO THE MALL!!!!!

Cheers!
Single Gals

The seriousness of proper summer TOE maintenance

Girls, if you can’t afford to get a pedicure, which is totally understandable in these tough economic times, then you can always do it yourself. I am by no means a professional, but I tend to do my toes quite often and have gotten compliments on them.

Step 1 – remove all traces of old polish, Sally Hansen nail polish removers work pretty good and they are cheap.

Step 2 – take nail clippers (not scissors) and remove all dead skin in and around all toes.

Step 3 – take the other part of the nail clippers (not sure what it’s called) and remove all grossness from under the toes.

Step 4 – cut/file the nails to your liking.

Step 5 – apply a moisturizer of some sort to the toes. Sally Hansen makes this cuticle and nail oil that I love. It say’s to remove it after letting it sit for a while, but I never do.

Step 6 – VERY IMPORTANT – apply a base coat before the polish. This will stop the nail from going yellow. Revlon has a two in one base/top coat which is really good.

Step 7 – apply polish – three coats for your big toes and two coats for all other toes. Then apply the top coat.

I know it seems like a lot, but if you’re just sitting around watching TV, you might as well get prepped for open toed shoes. Besides, I hear there are a lot of men out there with foot fetishes…and we can’t discount anyone for their weirdness’, cause everybody is weird.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Oh No You Didn't...

So you did not heed our advice on the importance of sunscreen and you went and got your drunk ass burnt on the patio. Don’t panic, yes we realize that you look like a lobster but it will fade and hopefully you end up with a great tan. In the meantime here are 3 tips to ease the pain of the burn. As for the hangover stay tuned those tips are coming soon!

1) Aloe… Go and but some Aloe cream and slather it all over the bits and pieces that you’ve burnt. Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize get the skin feeling soft again. We don’t want to look like this:





2) Apple Cider Vinegar…This helps to relieve the pain & inflammation of the burn. Just pour some on a cloth and press the burnt areas.

3) Yogurt…Helps cool and hydrate the skin


Now that you have taken care of the burn don’t forget to moisturize everyday. We want our skin soft and smooth for the off chance that we may rub up against a cutie in the grocery store.

Cheers!
Single Gals

The Top 3 Single Gal Patio Lounging must haves:

Hey Single Ladies summer is finally here!!! Get out the flip flops, mini skirts and the lip gloss. This is a great time of year for a Single Gal, it is the time for road trips, umbrella drinks and patios. Here are the top 3 things that we believe a Single Gal must have for looking (and staying) fabulous while hanging on the patio.

1) SUNSCREEN … I know we all own it, but we want to stress how important sunscreen is especially for your face. If preventing skin cancer is not reason enough to use it, then think Wrinkles. We know that no Single Gal wants wrinkles! At least use an SPF 15, but SPF 30 is a must on those really hot sunny days.


2) SUNGLASSES…Invest in a good pair of sunglasses. I know that they can be ridiculously expensive but it is an investment on your eye health. Ladies we want our eyes in perfect health so we don’t miss the chance to bat our eyelashes at the cutie behind us in line at Starbucks.



3) SUN HAT … Yes ladies you should wear a hat, there are so many cute ones out there. Think flirty fun beach hats, cute fitted ball caps, trendy cowboy hat; whatever your style OWN IT!!


Now put on some sunscreen, grab you hat and sunglasses, call up you Single Gal pals and go hit a patio. Don’t forget to lower your sunglasses bat your eyelashes and smile, you never know who will notice.

Cheers!
Single Gals