Why do the bad ones always return?

Hey Ladies,

Remember the guy I met at the bar in the summer who text messaged me to say he had a girlfriend but...

Well he has returned 5 months later with the following text message:

Nothing happened between us but a kiss and I would not have kissed him had I known about the girlfriend. I have no idea why he would think any girl would go for this and especially this girl because I have Self Esteem.

I  feel sorry for his girlfriend because she is dating is a loser that looks for booty calls whenever she goes away. I hope she soon sees his real character and finds someone worthy because he certainly is NOT!!

I did not respond to this, there is no need. I just hope he finally gets it and deletes my number because I deleted his after his first text.

Good Luck out there Gals!

Here's a taste of what is out there ladies...

This past weekend I had met a guy at the bar, I know when will I ever learn. Anyway he took my number and texted me the next afternoon. Here is his text:

Needless to say I am not interested. I swear I am a magnet for the dysfunctional. Oh well on to the next!

Let's say NO to Stupidity...Let's Say NO to Mr. 1986

Who would have thought that 2.5 hours of my life wasted would generate numerous text messages from a not quite fully grown man child. Below is the latest text the was sent to me, there are so many things wrong with this message..so many. I do not like to promote stupidity but unfortunately it is all around me.

I have to wonder a few things ...

1) Why does he keep calling me fag? Who in the hell uses that term anymore? It's offense to me and to the gay community. I realize he is stuck in the 80's but COME ON!

2) Why?! On God's green earth would you call a women that you're supposedly interested in a fag? Seriously!!! Is it the drugs? Has he finally fried every last brain cell.

3) Why would you look for me on facebook? I made sure my first priority after that date was to block him from my facebook.

4) Friends?! He is just lucky that if I see him in the street that I don't purposely step on the gas pedal. For me friends with this man means, I will not run him down. 

He sent me another message after he did not get a response...

Let's hope that he finally got it!

As for me I am going to take a break from dating, I think 'Mr. 1986' is a sign from the Universe that I am meant to be single at this moment in my life. For all you good guys out there and I know you exist; it sucks to be you because there are guys like 'Mr. 1986" ruining it for your kind.

Let's say NO to Stupidity...Let's Say NO to Mr. 1986!

He Digs MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is a text that I received last night from last week’s dating disaster. I guess he has done some reflecting and realized what a tool he was. He is correct in assuming I pegged him as a pot smoking, beer guzzling wanna  be teen, why would I assume otherwise.  I find it totally ridiculous that he even made an attempt to try and set up another date, if you wanted to do it right you should have the first time! Also saying you dig me just makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I’m tired of hearing about grown men behaving like children, living with their mothers, having their mothers call them to get up for work, and showing old videos of themselves in their glory days. Why is it always about them because for the most part they are not that interesting! Yet they are delusional enough to think they have a chance after they have choked on their pot pipe while wearing AC/DC pyjama pants on a first date! Even if he looked like Brad Pitt in ‘True Romance’ where he played Floyd the stoner I would not have gone out with him again. 

Who am I kidding Brad Pitt was hot as a stoner!! If my date behaved the way he did and looked like Brad I would have at least made out with him.

Here is my most recent dating DISASTER...

Recently I was fixed up on a blind date through friends, they had mentioned this man before and had run into him while I was on vacation and asked if they could give him my number. Since I do not have much going on at the moment I figured what can it hurt, sure set it up.

He called me on Sunday we chatted and set up the date for the following night so we can actually see each other since neither of us knew what the other looked like and I was told he was quite handsome. So with that I pictured this in my head:

The Date:

We arranged to meet at his place, normally I would not do this but since this was a friend of friends I figured it was okay. He sent me a text telling me to let myself in the side door, because he was running late. I enter the side door to be hit in the face with the stench of smoke (I don’t smoke!). Once inside I thought I had entered  the pad of a 21 year old Rock Star wanna be, but sadly it was the pad of a 42 year old Rock Star wanna be.

The stress kicks in, I calm myself down with thoughts of okay he is just in a transition phase from his divorce, give him a chance see what he looks like.  Finally the great reveal....Remember I had young Michael Pare in my head and this is what walked into the living room:

 

Yes looks are not everything but we are in 2011 and even though I love the 80’s rock scene I really do not want to date it. He gives me a hug and is super impressed, he was like "Wow your gorgeous! I am so happy that  Big V gave me your number! I can’t believe you’re single, okay fess up what’s your problem?"  He offers me a beer and damn straight I take it!! I need something to stop the screaming in my head.  He tells me that he is sorry that he did not have time to Febreze the place, I laugh because I am sure it is a joke but big surprise there is a big bottle of Febreze on the coffee table.

So we sit and chat and he tells me he will make me dinner I thought sure it's better than going out in public. During that time he downs 6 beers, tries to hide the belch and tells me “Sorry I had to belch, I normally just let them out but the night is still young”.  After we ate he disappeared for a bit, and said he had to change into something more comfortable....So he changed out of his tapered Wrangler jeans into a pair of AC/DC pyjama pants. 

OH it gets better, he sparked up his pot pipe and took a toke in which he choked on for 5 minutes.  This is where I was expecting Ashton Kutcher to coming flying through the door saying  “You’ve been Punked!” but alas he did not and this was all too real.  This was my queue to get the hell out of dodge. I said I had to go it was a busy day the next day at work. He came in to hug me and tried to stick his tongue down my throat, I said I don’t do that on a first date (well not this first date). He wanted to go out again I said I’d call him when I got home. I did not call that night cause I just did not want to deal with it, so he text me the following:

I told him very nicely that we are not a match and that we seem to be at different places in our lives. That was my polite way of saying I'm living in 2011 and you are stuck in 1989!!

Oh I forgot to mention that he called me a giant and asked if I had man hands because I am 5’ 9” and he was 5’ 6’!!!

REAL MEN EAT MEAT...

I once went on a date with a vegetarian, I do not see anything wrong with being a vegetarian it is a personal choice and I respect that. I will call this particular vegetarian “The Cowboy” because when I met him he was wearing a cowboy hat. Okay in my defense I did do shooters that evening. We had decided we would go out for dinner and a movie he picks me up at my place and thankfully he was not wearing the cowboy hat. He tells me I look great, not off to a bad start he noticed the effort I made to look good. Than he proceeds to say “Hey I look great too don’t you think?”...Really?! Am I supposed to compliment you when all you did was shower for this date? That should have been my first sign that it was going to get worse from there. I had to endure a 20 minute conversation about how his other car which was a Porsche but it was in the shop so he had to take his Civic instead. Dude give a girl some credit I was not born yesterday and I could care less what kind of car you drive, if I’m not paying for bus fair it’s all good. We finally get to the restaurant and by this point I am screaming in my head. Our dinner conversation was all about my looks and how good looking we were. When he was not talking about my looks or his looks he was talking about how he got his masters in a less than the required 2 years and how he should teach tennis on the side and make $100 an hour..and on and on and on . Never once did he ask about me I was basically just an object, a pretty ornament for him to display I guess. I felt awful, it made me feel like I could not possibly have a thought of my own or have anything interesting to say. I was totally objectified and I realize I don’t like it!! At this point I should have said take me home I am pretty much done with this date.  I stuck it out and went to the movie, the saving grace is that it was a great movie but “The Cowboy” did keep trying to paw at me and I told him to watch the movie..GROSS!!

After the date he drops me off but he wanted to come in. HELL NO! I told him that Shmoo my Boxer did not like men.(that was the biggest lie ever Shmoo was a big suck, but you had to be worthy to have the privilege of meeting him) ‘The Cowboy” comes in for a kiss, he moaned and said he could eat me “AS IF! I’m a meat product!”… That’s when I ran inside locked the door and took a long hot shower to scrub the creepiness of the whole evening off of me… So thanks to the Vegetarian Cowboy that is when I decided that real men eat meat!

Ladies tell me your thoughts; do you think Real Men Eat Meat?

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO