Welcome to the Jungle

There seems to be a common concern among women about how they smell or taste down there. Unless you have a serious medical condition there is no need to stress over this too much. A simple rule to remember is that “You are what you eat”. So, if you love garlic (good for you because it has great nutritional benefits), it will come out your pores and all other sweaty orifices. Unless your man is a ‘Greek God’ he may not be so impressed with the taste of recycled garlic. So how can you enjoy the more pungent spices of life and still taste fruity fresh. Obviously eat lots of sweet fruits and drink pineapple juice or 5 Alive. This will guarantee that your man will be back to visit the Juicy Fruit Jungle!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Daisy of Love

I have recently become obsessed with Daisy of Love. It is so messed up and surreal. Daisy is a former Rock of Love contender and was a finalist vying for Brett Michaels love. Alas, Brett chose Amber and left Daisy broken hearted. Daisy is now over Brett and lookin for love. At first I thought she was too dumb to function, but her overly bleached blonde hair, restylane injected lips and silicone boobs kind of grow on you. She is cute in a pug sort of way.

Oddly enough the dudes that are fighting for Daisy’s love are strangely appealing. It is a mixed bag of nuts. You have these big muscle bound beasts that could lift you up and have you against the wall before you knew what hit you (HOT!). There’s also the tormented musician, he is broke, living on someone’s sofa and struggling to get by. Then you have the overly tattooed, pierced, dysfunctional dudes and yet they are all very sexy.

There I was thinking that Daisy had issues, yet I am the one who is watching and trying to decide who I would pick. Would it be Flex, with his bulging biceps and killer abs? Would it be Cage, the tattooed fighter with the abusive father and alcoholic mother? Or would it be London, the homeless musician without a guitar? What is so appealing about guys who don’t have their shit together, that are angry and sensitive all at the same time? Is it because we think we can save them that we are attracted to them? If we did save them would we still want them? Or at the end of the day maybe we women are not that different from men. Breasts make some men stupid and if you show us a bulging pair of biceps, then all sense and reason goes out the window.



Cheers!
Single Gal

Why do smart women do stupid things?

There are first times in all relationships and the one I’m going to write about isn’t a pleasant one. Now being in my mid-30’s you would think it would be a thing of the past, well I’m sorry to say it’s not. What am I talking about? It’s the dreaded thing I call thinking you are a rock star and indestructible only to find out you’re just delusional (aka puking your brains out after a night out).
I hate puking; I think I would rather have sticks jabbed into my eye than to puke. This is a bit dramatic but you get my point. When you’re single and you puke you feel like shit but at least you don’t have an audience watching you (some people may like this but me not so much). When you’re a couple your boyfriend being the gentleman he should be, is helping to hold your hair back, getting you water, getting you aspirin, putting you to bed etc….This is really great and truly appreciated, but having a guy especially early on in a relationship seeing you at what is most likely your worst is awkward to say the least.
I remember the first time “my stud” saw me puke (yes I have puked more than once, seriously I have stomach issues and no I’m not bulimic, see start of 2nd paragraph). We were out with his friends at a show and I was drinking but didn’t actually think I was drinking that much. Well that changed quickly because the next thing I knew I was like - “stud” take me home, like take me home now.” After that point I blacked out but the parts I do remember included “my stud” carrying me so that I wouldn’t fall, stopping to let me puke some more, and telling passerby’s that I would be okay. I don’t remember a lot but what I do remember thinking is that I have a great boyfriend and that death has to be easier than this.
After recovering the next day I had a conversation with “my stud” about the happenings from the night before and I have to tell you that even after seeing me at my worst (or what I hope is my worst) he still had the look that I was special. So you’re wondering what my point is aside from not partying like a rock star, which you are not. Well it’s to remember that even at your worst the person you are with should still look at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, because single gals you are.





Cheers!
Hook-up Gal

There is Life after French Fries….

Just thought I’d let everyone know what’s be going on since I dumped the sinfully delicious French Fry. First off, it was by no means an easy task. I turned away from my McCain’s crinkle cut fries as I dumped them in the trash, as I could not let them see me cry. Than I sat and reminisced about all our times together, like the first time I had poutine and knew it was love at first bite. Then when I wanted to have a little Texas style fun I would get Chili Fries and bring out my inner Cowgirl. Giddy Up!! So many fond memories with so many years together.

At first I felt a little naked out there without my French Fry crutch what was I to do if I felt sad or had a bad day, there were no fries at home to run to. Do I look different now? Am I acting different? I am not really sure but things have definitely changed. My first sign of things a’ changin was when “The Cave Man” smiled at me after one year of seeing each other on our travels to work. After that, I ran into a coffee shop regular, who gave me the once over for the first time. Lastly the cutie in my building said “Hi. Is there a sign on my forehead now that says “I’m available”? Was I really giving off the “I’m taken” vibes before? Or do guys really prefer brunettes? I’ve been a blonde forever and recently thanks to Ms. Hair 2009 (my hairdresser fondly known as Gaboo), I have become one very “Hot” brunette according to “Crazy Eyes”, my neighborhood homeless guy and my #1 fan. Or is it the combination of the new hair confidence and the 5 pound French Fry weight loss? I guess one will never really know. Hopefully this new trend is a regular thing, and once in a while I can have a casual fling with my beloved French Fry.


Cheers!
Single Gal

If you like to contact Gaboo about a hair appointment her e-mail address is. gaboostyles@live.ca. You’ll get salon quality without the salon prices!

Are we a monogamous?

Dear Single gals,

Do you really think that mankind is a monogamous species?

Questionable


Dear Questionable,

I would have to say No to this question. Very few animals are monogamous and we are not the exception. We are a species that adapts to our environment and a monogamous environment is what has been created for us and has been engraved in our subconscious for thousands of years. Can you imaging if we had evolved without the concept of monogamy? If there had never been such a thing as marriage or "life" partners? Families would still exist as we do crave human contact that isn't always sexual, but it would be more like a pack type mentality. We would probably live in social groups where we would be promiscuous with many different people...something like the Chimpanzee. In most species, males are programmed to spread their seed and females are programmed to get the best seed and to that I say...there's nothing wrong with wanting the best!.

Cheers!
Single Chick

Meet the Faulkers

Unlike the Single Gals I am a Gal in a relationship. My relationship is fairly new (just over 8 months) and I have to tell you not being a “relationship person” there are things I have needed to adjust to. Don’t get me wrong I have a great boyfriend (let’s call him 'My Stud') and I’m extremely happy to be in what I believe is a healthy relationship but I sometimes wonder how girls and guys co-exist. I say this because guys and girls think very differently. For example a couple of weeks ago "My Stud" asks me if I want to spend the weekend at his parent’s cottage. This wouldn’t be an issue but I have never met his parents and normally when meeting someone’s parents you have a meal and are able to leave when the night is through, a weekend is a whole different affair.

Weird things were going through my head stuff like; What has "My Stud" told them about me? Do they know I’m not white (I’m South African Indian heritage, "My Stud" is pure anglo Cdn)? What do I wear to make a good impression and let them know that I’m not some floozy? What if we don’t get along, what do I do then? Will we be sleeping in the same room and how do I make this not an uncomfortable situation? What if they start discussing politics or religion do I voice my true feelings or keep my mouth shut? What if his mother thinks I’m not good enough for her one and only son?

Now I’ve met many a parent and haven’t had any issues with them but I haven’t met someone’s parents in a while (we’re talking years) and was concerned (and rightfully so). When I expressed my concerns to "My Stud", he was so nonchalant about things and just said to me that I’d be meeting them anyway so what’s the big deal (referring to my concern over it being a weekend and not just an evening). See we are from different planets, to him it was status quo to me it was a whole analytical process of every action, word and move I would make on that weekend with the parents. So needless to say the weekend went off without a hitch and my analyzing things didn’t impact on things in the least. So my advice to you single gals is go with it, don’t worry about meeting the parents, just remember to be yourself and enjoy the dinner, weekend or night with his folks. If you’re the fantastic person I know you are they will love you and if not then do what you have to do to get through things unscathed (tequila shots perhaps?).

Cheers!
Hook-Up Gal

What’s your love substitute?

What’s a love substitute? You ask. It’s not your favorite battery operated toy or a one night stand or your pet dog. It’s the comfort food you crave when you’re lonely, depressed and even when you’re happy. For a Single Gal it is your substitute for a loving relationship. Apparently my love substitute is French fries. I do love them especially smothered in cheese and gravy..mmmmmmm Good!!! According to my Psychology of Disease teacher I am single because I have closed myself off from a human relationship. In my mind I am already in a committed relationship with French fries. Well before you say “WTF??” think about it ladies it is a great relationship. I can have them when I want, throw them out when I’ve had enough and I have wide variety to choose from (curly, wedged, crinkle). Now you are probably wondering “how does a girl ever get over such a relationship?”, well I just have to tell myself that I no longer need French fries for love, they no longer have a hold on me, so basically I dumped the fries. Sorry Mister freshly cut potato with your suit of gravy and cheese, you are out of here!!! We had a great time together and you will no longer be able to go straight to my thighs because that is the job of a real man! As per my teacher, a new love is coming along, no it’s not chocolate chip cookies it’s a MAN!!! I wonder if he will ask “Would you like fries with that?” or better yet he won’t need to ask he will come with a plate of fries!!

Cheers!
Single Gal