Your Boyfriends Bromance....

I have a theory that maybe there are more single gals out there because the men that are supposed to be with them are in a Bromance instead. I know you’re saying to yourself but Hook-up Gal you’re in a relationship and that is true but I have to tell you that my boyfriend is cheating on me and no it’s not with another women it’s with an overly emotional male friend. I’m not even sure if my predicament is common place but it is a situation I have had to deal with and I have to tell you it took some adjusting to.

When you start dating someone some insecurities you have may come up and mostly they involve other single gals, but from my experience I wouldn’t worry about the single gals as much as I would worry about your boyfriend’s buddy. This is an odd scenario and one I haven’t ever experienced so to me it was all new, I had always been friendly with my boyfriend’s friends and didn’t think I would have any issues with “My Stud’s” friends but was I wrong...because along came “Girly Man”...

“Girly Man” is a guy who has so many insecurities that having his friend in a healthy, happy relationship is threatening to him and what better way to remove the threat than to be as obnoxious and rude as possible. In my case ‘Girly Man” used my insecurities to his full advantage. Now I’m a strong girl but there are things I don’t need or want to know about my boyfriend’s past, this may just be me but unless it has any bearing on my present relationship why bother. Well I guess “Girly Man” felt differently because when I started dating “My Stud” he was all the more happy to tell me the not so great stories about “My Stud’s” past.

I remember one night in particular where I was at my wits end and was ready to explode and when “Girly Man” and his g/f left I just freaked on
“My Stud”. Now I’m not saying I’m proud of how I reacted but my reaction was because I didn’t understand how ‘My Stud” could be so okay with what “Girly Man” was saying and especially to me. What I realized after I had calmed down is that ‘My Stud” has known this guy since his teens. “Girly Man” and “My Stub” have been through a lot together and they have a bromance that to ‘My Stud” what ‘Girly Man” said just rolled off of him like it was nothing. To me it was the opposite, I wanted “My Stud” to defend himself, defend me, make me feel secure, but really that isn’t “My Stud’s” problem it was mine. What I needed to understand is that the only reason “Girly Man” was getting to me was because I was letting him get to me. “Girly Man” was telling stories for shock value and to get a rise out of me. What I needed to do was take control of the situation and not let him get the best of me. So I did just that and things have changed for the better.

So single gals if you have any issues with your boyfriend’s friends try to work through them and try to get to the real reason as to why you’re having problems with them. Once you do you’ll be happier for it....and if you aren’t work on mastering the evil eye because that works too ;)

Cheers!

Hook-Up Gal

The Uro Club....A Discrete Sanitary Solution???

Recently I saw this ad:



Boys, boys, boys do you really need this ridiculous device. Isn’t one of the joys of having a penis is you ability to pee anywhere? Why would you go through all the hassle of sticking your penis in this tube to hide the fact that your are peeing. Plus how are going to explain the apron?

This product should come with a warning, “Do not use when drunk because chances are this is the only time that you will try this”. You know you’re gonna miss the hole and end up pissing all over yourself. So genius just pee like a man, head to a bush, turn away from the course and let her rip.

Cheers!
Single Gal

To Move or Not to Move?

I am new to the whole serious relationship concept and I understand fully that as you get older things generally move faster. Now I’m not talking sex, bondage or other fantasies you may or may not have so get your mind out of the gutter. What I am referring to is the general idea that if you both have your own places chances are that as your relationship progresses you will cohabitate whether you’ve formally talked about things or not.
Now “my stud” is a relationship person I’m a bit of a commitment phobe (I believe this has more to do with past relationships being somewhat shady to my actually not being able to commit). Anyway we have yet to formally discuss living arrangements but over time I have noticed that space was made for me in the closet, the bathroom etc...As well 4 or so months back there was a formal dinner with “my stud” handing over a copy of his keys to me. This was a very sweet gesture and although it seemed natural given I was over there all the time, it came as a bit of a shock to me (the keys not the sweet gesture).
Months have passed since I was given a copy of his keys and I am not in denial that we are pretty much living together but the fact of the matter is that we are not. My stud has his place (yes I still do refer to it as his place, I’m not paying rent so it isn’t ours) and I still have my place. A lot of people (friends, family etc…) are telling me to get over my issues and move in already. They come up with comments such as “You can save on rent.”, “What are you afraid of, you guys are together all the time anyways” etc… My feeling is that it is too soon, we are still new to this relationship and yes things are great but what if they change? I know that eventually a formal step will need to be made but I want to make that decision myself and when I feel right about it. I know I care for “my stud” and I know it makes sense but I also know that I need to do things at my own pace (obviously with the understanding and support of “my stud”). So whether it’s moving in together, sleeping together etc…do so at your own pace because only you truly know what is best for you (and don’t you forget that).




Cheers,
Hook-up Gal

The Big Boy??????

“Are you man enough?” this is the slogan for The Big Boy bulge enhancer. I’m thinking they should change it to “So you’re not man enough?” Yes ladies there is such a thing as the bulge enhancer. They advertise this as the man’s answer to the padded bra. Now boys, yes some of us gals wear padded bras, but it is usually the last thing to come off. Once it does we shove “The Girls” in your face. This confuses you and you forget that we started off as a C cup rather than a B. If you ever do use ‘The Big Boy’, remember that once the pants come off your secret is revealed. You do not have the same luxury of just shoving it in our faces because we are not that easily confused. Also, walking around with a perma bulge is not that attractive to us gals…it is so ‘82. Chances are we will just write you off as a perv. So if you are thinking of purchasing ‘The Big Boy’ save your money and use a pair of socks.

Cheers!
Single Gal

Welcome to the Jungle

There seems to be a common concern among women about how they smell or taste down there. Unless you have a serious medical condition there is no need to stress over this too much. A simple rule to remember is that “You are what you eat”. So, if you love garlic (good for you because it has great nutritional benefits), it will come out your pores and all other sweaty orifices. Unless your man is a ‘Greek God’ he may not be so impressed with the taste of recycled garlic. So how can you enjoy the more pungent spices of life and still taste fruity fresh. Obviously eat lots of sweet fruits and drink pineapple juice or 5 Alive. This will guarantee that your man will be back to visit the Juicy Fruit Jungle!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Daisy of Love

I have recently become obsessed with Daisy of Love. It is so messed up and surreal. Daisy is a former Rock of Love contender and was a finalist vying for Brett Michaels love. Alas, Brett chose Amber and left Daisy broken hearted. Daisy is now over Brett and lookin for love. At first I thought she was too dumb to function, but her overly bleached blonde hair, restylane injected lips and silicone boobs kind of grow on you. She is cute in a pug sort of way.

Oddly enough the dudes that are fighting for Daisy’s love are strangely appealing. It is a mixed bag of nuts. You have these big muscle bound beasts that could lift you up and have you against the wall before you knew what hit you (HOT!). There’s also the tormented musician, he is broke, living on someone’s sofa and struggling to get by. Then you have the overly tattooed, pierced, dysfunctional dudes and yet they are all very sexy.

There I was thinking that Daisy had issues, yet I am the one who is watching and trying to decide who I would pick. Would it be Flex, with his bulging biceps and killer abs? Would it be Cage, the tattooed fighter with the abusive father and alcoholic mother? Or would it be London, the homeless musician without a guitar? What is so appealing about guys who don’t have their shit together, that are angry and sensitive all at the same time? Is it because we think we can save them that we are attracted to them? If we did save them would we still want them? Or at the end of the day maybe we women are not that different from men. Breasts make some men stupid and if you show us a bulging pair of biceps, then all sense and reason goes out the window.



Cheers!
Single Gal

Why do smart women do stupid things?

There are first times in all relationships and the one I’m going to write about isn’t a pleasant one. Now being in my mid-30’s you would think it would be a thing of the past, well I’m sorry to say it’s not. What am I talking about? It’s the dreaded thing I call thinking you are a rock star and indestructible only to find out you’re just delusional (aka puking your brains out after a night out).
I hate puking; I think I would rather have sticks jabbed into my eye than to puke. This is a bit dramatic but you get my point. When you’re single and you puke you feel like shit but at least you don’t have an audience watching you (some people may like this but me not so much). When you’re a couple your boyfriend being the gentleman he should be, is helping to hold your hair back, getting you water, getting you aspirin, putting you to bed etc….This is really great and truly appreciated, but having a guy especially early on in a relationship seeing you at what is most likely your worst is awkward to say the least.
I remember the first time “my stud” saw me puke (yes I have puked more than once, seriously I have stomach issues and no I’m not bulimic, see start of 2nd paragraph). We were out with his friends at a show and I was drinking but didn’t actually think I was drinking that much. Well that changed quickly because the next thing I knew I was like - “stud” take me home, like take me home now.” After that point I blacked out but the parts I do remember included “my stud” carrying me so that I wouldn’t fall, stopping to let me puke some more, and telling passerby’s that I would be okay. I don’t remember a lot but what I do remember thinking is that I have a great boyfriend and that death has to be easier than this.
After recovering the next day I had a conversation with “my stud” about the happenings from the night before and I have to tell you that even after seeing me at my worst (or what I hope is my worst) he still had the look that I was special. So you’re wondering what my point is aside from not partying like a rock star, which you are not. Well it’s to remember that even at your worst the person you are with should still look at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, because single gals you are.





Cheers!
Hook-up Gal

There is Life after French Fries….

Just thought I’d let everyone know what’s be going on since I dumped the sinfully delicious French Fry. First off, it was by no means an easy task. I turned away from my McCain’s crinkle cut fries as I dumped them in the trash, as I could not let them see me cry. Than I sat and reminisced about all our times together, like the first time I had poutine and knew it was love at first bite. Then when I wanted to have a little Texas style fun I would get Chili Fries and bring out my inner Cowgirl. Giddy Up!! So many fond memories with so many years together.

At first I felt a little naked out there without my French Fry crutch what was I to do if I felt sad or had a bad day, there were no fries at home to run to. Do I look different now? Am I acting different? I am not really sure but things have definitely changed. My first sign of things a’ changin was when “The Cave Man” smiled at me after one year of seeing each other on our travels to work. After that, I ran into a coffee shop regular, who gave me the once over for the first time. Lastly the cutie in my building said “Hi. Is there a sign on my forehead now that says “I’m available”? Was I really giving off the “I’m taken” vibes before? Or do guys really prefer brunettes? I’ve been a blonde forever and recently thanks to Ms. Hair 2009 (my hairdresser fondly known as Gaboo), I have become one very “Hot” brunette according to “Crazy Eyes”, my neighborhood homeless guy and my #1 fan. Or is it the combination of the new hair confidence and the 5 pound French Fry weight loss? I guess one will never really know. Hopefully this new trend is a regular thing, and once in a while I can have a casual fling with my beloved French Fry.


Cheers!
Single Gal

If you like to contact Gaboo about a hair appointment her e-mail address is. gaboostyles@live.ca. You’ll get salon quality without the salon prices!