Tales of the unemployed…

Well single ladies my quest to find a new job didn’t quite work out exactly as planned but really do things ever work out as planned????? To update you all, I was recently laid off from my job, now you could look at this as horrible and it’s not the greatest of feelings at first but after the initial shock wears off you realize that it is far from being the worse thing that could happen and shockingly may even be a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I need the income as I have expenses with life, my condo which I’m waiting for etc…but in the grand scheme of things it’s just another hurdle that I’m being asked to take on. And on a positive note I can now look for employment on a full time basis and can go to interviews with no issues and without having to come up with excuses for not being at work. As well the extra time allows me the opportunity to see friends I haven't had the chance to and to get the things done that I haven't had the time to do.

I have heard from many friends and family that the timing sucks as it was just before the holidays but really is there ever a good time to be laid off? I agree, that the time to look for work is not during the holidays but at the same time I am not at all doubting my ability to find new work and I have set a target of March 2011 for that to come to fruition. Also on a more positive note I did go on 2 interviews prior to the holidays and I think that alone is a good sign, and if they hire me great but if they don’t I won’t sweat it because I know that it wasn’t meant to be.

So single gals if you find yourself in my situation remember to look at the positive and not to focus on the negative. I truly believe things happen for a reason and whether it be work, your love life, your family relationships etc….things are never perfect but you have to remember that they will work themselves out if you put in the effort and continue to find the positive in the face of adversity.

My wish for all of you in 2011 is to stay focused on what is important to you, to dream big and to strive to do what is best for you. In the end you are your destiny so make it a good one.

Queen B

Happy Holidays Everyone...

Ladies it seems another year has passed once again, where does the time go? Did your relationship status on facebook change from single to “It’s Complicated”, were you able to complete something off your life list? Do you have a life list? What is a life list....well it is a list of things that you would like to do in your lifetime such as ...Meet Jon Bon Jovi, Drink Crystal Champagne (I hear it’s not really that good but I must try it), Skinny dip in Maui (before the boobs sag), Play the drums...You get the idea. If nothing has changed in your life in the past year than make a life list, it keeps life interesting. 

2011 is just around the corner why not write up your life list or add to it if you have one. Forget resolutions, resolutions are for people who like the idea of change but know they will never act on it. Think about how much fun ringing in the New Year will be when you know that you plan to go to surf school,  learn Muay Thai, teach your first spin class, dance in the rain..Whatever it is that you want to do “JUST DO IT!” 

We like to wish all our Single Gals followers a Happy Holidays and a very exciting New Year. Do it SG style and fly by the seat of your G-string!!!

Cheers!

Watch out for crazy....

I been online and sort of doing the dating thing, I’m not as adventurous as Single Chick and her mission of 50 dates. So I don’t really respond to people, yes I know why bother being online.  I read profiles and I try to get a sense of whether it would be worth my time or not and most are NOT.  Am I to picky I don’t know, but my instincts are usually right so I try to listen to them.  One guy had contacted me, I looked at his profile and something didn’t sit right with me, not sure but it was just a sense. So he contacted me again, I still did not respond and then his last contact was the following message, keep in mind we have never talked and nor has he met me. I have cut and pasted what he wrote so the grammar and spelling mistakes are all his!

I would just love for you to stand by my hip for just 30 seconds to sense the real wonder. I can just imagine the empty flakes, and the losers who are vying for your hand and attention. How much longer are you going to hold out for. Until your head is full of grey and in a manic depressive state with no mania to pull at your you to brighten your day. Tell me whats wrong with you for there is nothing wrong with me. You girls supposedly come on here flashing your absurd empty confidence and for what, all talk no action. You think every guy just wants to fuck you and toss you like a dirty dish rag. Where is your acument, your wit, your senses, why are you a hopeless soul. is the grass greener in your world. I am confused. Do you enjoy beig single, do you enjoy there is nobody to show you affection at the end of the day, cook you a nice meal, really care about your feelings, get to the core of who and what you are. What am I missing. When are the lights going to blast off in your cranium. At this pace you will be alone forever, what a shame. I feel sorry for you and can only hope you snap out of your settled ways. It sometimes take the ruthless truth to hit a nerve and I hope this message does just that. Don't you want happiness for once and for all, truly. What the alternative, your vibrator or dildo. Get in the game sunshine.

Yes... this is what’s out there unfortunately. I did not respond to this I really see no need as to why I should. I don’t take it personal for he knows nothing about me. I just fear for the poor girl that does go on a date with him, I truly think he is unbalanced. I did report him, but I have no idea what they do with that and there are countless dating web site out there and he is probably on all of them. 

What this jackass does not realize is the my life is very happy and if he were my alternative to being single, I’ll take a vibrator over him any day and as Single Chick so eloquently put it  

“I suggest you take that ruthless truth of yours and shove it up your fucking ass...and I also suggest you keep it to yourself or you will be the single one forever, not me. Shit head." 

Got any AA’s anyone?

It’s beginning to smell a lot like....Ass!

 

The holiday season is upon us, it is time for rushing around in crowded malls, going to Christmas parties and eating, lots and lots of eating. I have not been at the gym in a couple of weeks, and I am starting to feel the effects of that.  Yesterday I went to spin class and the first 5 minutes I was so happy to be exercising; it felt good to being doing something good for my body. The bike beside me was empty at first then the ass man cometh....

All of a sudden my feelings of euphoria were replaced with gagging reflexes. You see the man beside me reeked of ass.  I was fighting the urge to throw-up in my mouth. I tried to tap into my inner Zen master and zone out. Just when I thought I mastered the craft I realized I was just holding my breath, so in order not to pass out due to lack of oxygen I had to take a big breath and then I swallowed the smell of ass...GROSS! The next 40 minutes of class were pure hell; I left feeling nauseous and my mouth tasted of ass. 

Here’s the kicker this man is Married!! Yes someone loves that smell of ass! She must love the smell of ass because why else would he smell like that. Seriously, if you love someone I think you should tell them they STANK. Here I am struggling to get a decent date and ‘The Ass’ man has found someone to love him.

I went to work out to get back into the swing of things, and to feel good. I left feeling stomach sick and now I am totally depressed for there must seriously be something wrong with me, for I am still single and I don’t smell of ass!

Warning Labels...

Have you noticed there is some sort of warning label on everything that you buy; even your morning coffee has a “Hot! Be careful” warning.  Sometimes I think that dudes out there should come with warning labels. Here are some labels I can put on previous dates that myself or one of the Single Gals team has had:

The Ape: Caution things are hairier than they appear. If alcohol is added I will become a loud obnoxious ass and this will result in me dumping you via text message.

F’ed in the head:  Warning may cause alcoholism! You WILL need alcohol in order to find me as attractive as I think I am.  Lots and lots of alcohol.

Small meat package: Objects are not proportionate to size. Everything about me is big: ego, truck, to the size of my bi-ceps but once we get down to it I will leave you wanting another 3 inches.

The Douche Bag: This is kind of like the coffee warning just stating the obvious. If it walks like a douche bag, talks like a douche bag and looks like a douche bag...It’s a douche bag.

Mr. Insecure: Beware, grown man who likes to cause a public scene, sneak alcohol on the subway and who will fall instantly in love with you because I had a troubled youth and I’m lonely.

The Jock: I have yet to grow up. And on our second date I’m going to ask you to go to the bar with me and my buddies where you can listen to me talk about my high school glory days of sports and getting drunk. You’ll love it man.

Mr. “I’ve been hurt”: TOXIC. I’ve been hurt more than others and way more intensely, even though it happened 5 years ago, or was it 2 months ago? I have no idea. But my hurt is worse than yours.

Mr. Mom: May cause accidental impregnation because I’m dying to have kids and that’s all I talk about and all I want to do is coach little league. 

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO and Single Chick

Date #6 – The Coffee Date

Well as you can see, I’m still going on dates, so obviously dates 1 through 5 have not worked out. Not to worry my fellow single gals, I’m starting to get the hang of this thing they call dating.

So I recently had my very first coffee date. I’ve never actually been on a coffee date before. My dates have usually consisted of meeting for drinks or dinner + drinks. I suggested this, but #6 said he’d rather meet for coffee because he reserves drinking for weekends and RIDE is out now. I said that was very responsible of him. I told Hopeful this, and she said coffee dates are good because there will be no alcohol to cloud your judgment. I told her coffee dates are boring and it’s just a sign the guy won’t put out.

So, we meet for coffee. I actually had tea because if I had a coffee I’d never get to sleep that night. I was running late and called him to see if we could meet an hour later…he didn’t sound too impressed. “Whatever,” I thought “I’m busy!!!” So we met at Starbucks but there was nowhere to sit so we went to Tim Hortons. He bought my green tea and we sat in the corner and chatted. All in all it was very uneventful. He was cute and nicely built, but not a very interesting guy.

After about an hour we left and stood by our cars in the parking lot. Chatted some more and while I’m in mid-sentence he leaned in to kiss me but I wasn’t prepared and thought it was a hug and kinda pulled back. It was weird and awkward. See if there had of been drinks involved everything would have been fine and we would have just started going at it!! So we part and while he’s getting in his car, he’s talking about how it’s a new car. I look in the window of the passenger seat to check it out and he say’s “get in”. I open the door and say “if I get in we’ll just end up making out”. Then I leave. I didn’t think I’d hear from him again, but he texted me the next day and asked what I was doing for the weekend. I told him I was busy but was free Friday.

So we make plans to meet for drinks (real drinks this time) on the Friday. Friday comes and after dinner with my girlfriend, I go home to get ready and give him a call. He’s watching the hockey game and asks me to come over and hang with him and his friend and then we can all go to the bar together. WTF?? Apparently his buddy’s girlfriend just kicked him out and he just showed up at his house. I told him I don’t think so and how that would have been cool 10 years ago when I was 21, but not now and not for a second date. Here’s a thought…tell your fucking buddy you have a date and can’t hang out tonight??!! He sounded super disappointed and wrote me this really nice text , but honestly, the guy seems like kind of a tard.

Upwards and onwards to #7….

Single Chick

When you feel crappy but you know shouldn’t

Well single ladies my job hunting is not going as I had planned and it’s getting me down. I’m trying to think of the positive things surrounding my job hunt but it gets harder as time goes on and it doesn’t make it any easier when you work for a narcissistic a-hole.

I was thinking positive about my 3 interviews with a company I thought would be good to work for but unfortunately things didn’t work out. The HR person said that everyone only had good things to say about me but they decided to go with someone else. Really, is that supposed to make me feel better because it doesn’t it makes me feel like I’m inadequate. On the positive side she told me to keep checking their website and should something come up to apply and let her know. This should make me feel better because I couldn’t have been that terrible if they still want me to contact them but the flip side of this is that this could be what they say to everyone.

Either way it sucks to not get what you want and for sanity purposes I have to come up with ideas as to why I am not successful in my job hunt. What I’ve concluded is that it’s not in the cards for me at the moment because there is a higher purpose to my being stuck in my current job. I still don’t know what it is but I sure am hoping the wait is worth it.

The other thing getting me by is knowing that I have Xmas to NYE off. If there is only one thing to hold my sanity it is knowing I have a break from work.

Queen B

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I have a friend who is an inexperienced dater, I’m not going to go into the details as to why she hasn’t gone out with anyone seriously, but I can tell you she is physically fine and mentally adequate although her lack of experience makes things difficult. Why, you may ask? Well it has to do with the fact that you’re dealing with a women in her late 30s who has the dating mind set of a teenager and at times even a pre-teen.

My friend is mature in her everyday life but when it comes to men I’m at a loss as to how to deal with her. It’s like being a teenager again and wanting to tell your friend something controversial and wondering how they will handle it. A normal woman would appreciate feedback from her girlfriend or better yet not need it because they see the signs. This isn’t the case with my friend as she lives in a bubble and doesn’t ask for feedback so I’m always at a loss as to whether to be honest or just let her live in her little dream world.

My dilemma stems from our Saturday night out, everything was good, we were dancing having a fun night and we met some nice men (they were in their 30s, yeah) who treated us to drinks. At the end of the night we ended up grabbing a bite with them which in my opinion was no biggie. The guys were nice but not physically attractive to me, and I didn’t think any of the other single ladies thought so either. The problem was that there was flirty behaviour between pairs of us and to me it was completely innocent and nothing more than just being flirty girls with flirty boys. When we departed numbers were exchanged but it again was innocent and not romantic.

Well I think my friend thinks more of this night out and I also believe she wants more from the night out because she is desperate to not be alone. The problem is the guy that she was talking to was more enraptured by her sister (K) than to her. K has a boyfriend so the guy had no chance with her and I won’t go into details as to why I thought this but let’s say he beelined for K and was talking to her for most of the night until the end when he moved to my friend.

What to do? I don’t know....but when dealing with a teenager tread carefully. That’s the only advice I have for myself and for you.

Queen B

Way to go team Marriott!

I am blessed to know some amazing women. My dear friend Nadine is of of these women. This past Sunday she had just completed a half marathon for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society (LLS). She sent out the following e-mail to all of her supporters and I loved it so much I thought it should be shared, to inspire us all to do great things.

Thank you so much to all supporters - both of me personally but most importantly of the Leukemia Lymphoma Society (LLS). Race day was on Sunday November 14th.It was a perfect day for running!! Great weather, beautiful coastline scenery, and now I can say, the 13.1 mile mission accomplished. The biggest accomplishment was all thanks to you - I was able to raise $2,192.92 (barely shy of my $2200 goal). Asa team, my 2 coworkers and I exceeded our fundraising goal and raised $6,671.50.

There were a lot of purple shirts in the Big Sur Half Marathon, signifying other team in training participants all running for a cure. As a group we raised just under a quarter million dollars. You were all a part of that and again I thank you. I had a great run for the first 10 miles. Felt strong and hit my stride...the last 3 miles were much more difficult. It was tough to hang on and I ended up walking more than I wanted to. I finished at 2 hours and 30 minutes but had hoped to finish10 to 15 minutes earlier than that. This was an amazingly inspiring endeavor and one I will treasure always. You always grow when you push yourself out of your comfort zone and do something you've never done before. I had done a half-marathon 7 years ago, but I had never fund raised anything more than $200 in my life. You also grow when you're able to do something for someone other than yourself and have the ability to share your time, talent and/or treasure for people who you may never know personally. It is so gratifying to know that we're all a part of something bigger than ourselves and to know how much we can accomplish when everyone does a little.

God bless you all!!

To see Nadine and her team in training: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/honolulu10/TeamMarriott 

If you'd like to learn more about joining Team In Training, you can visit: http://www.teamintraining.org.

Thank you Team Marriott for a job well done for a worthy cause.

You ladies rock! 

Cheers!

50 First Dates – Date #5 – The Unexpected Good Time

So my 5th date is a friend of a friend set-up. My friend had never met, let’s call him “Jack”, or knew anything about him. I didn’t care though, I’m up for anything these days so I agreed.
About three weeks ago Jack called and left a message. I called him back the next day and left him a message. Then I didn’t hear from him for two weeks. I had actually forgotten all about him until my friend mentioned that he told his friend he hadn’t called me back yet and she got mad at him for taking too long. He was like “oh is that too long to call back?” for most girls it is too long, but for me who is trying to accumulate 50 dates in a year, I got over it. He was busy…but who the fuck isn’t?

He finally got in touch and we chatted for a bit and set up a date for last Friday. Friday came and I have to admit that I was borderline wanting to cancel. I was tired and really not into it. I decided to suck it up and dragged myself together. We met at a restaurant and he walked in as I was waiting at the bar. I have to say that at first I was like “ok, not too bad” there was something about him. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

We got seated, and I was instantly at ease…this is how I know (or thought I knew) that I’m probably not that attracted to them. As dinner went on, we had really good conversation, he made me laugh both intentionally and unintentionally, he was complimentary and wanted to know about me. And then it hit me…“he looks like Jack Black!!” Ha, I knew there was something and for some reason I started to find this attractive!

We had a really good time and he paid (I think guys are starting to get the message!). At the end I was parked further away so he drove me to my car where he kissed me very passionately (although when he leaned in I started to laugh…I just couldn’t help it!!) I was surprised how attracted to him I ended up being…it’s almost like he gave me no choice.

It’s funny how we have these ideal men in our mind, men who our friends picture us with (I have one friend who every time I go on a date or meet a guy she claims to have a dream about it thinking this is the one) and who we picture ourselves with. My guy was always at least 6’, built, had tattoos and probably worked a blue collar type job. This guy is the complete opposite of all that.

Remember girls, be opened minded out there. You never know when it will hit you or with who. He may still turn out to be a total jerk (that’s the 31 year old skeptic, standoffish biatch in me) but at least I now know they don’t all have to be Mark Walbergs!

Single chick!

The future holds...

Here is the best piece of advice that I can give to all you Single Gals, stay away from Psychic’s!  Unfortunately no one warned me to stay away and I have been to a few different ones. The first time was after my very bad break-up with ‘F’ed in the head’.  She was so accurate about the whole situation you would think she was living with us. She also predicted that my brother and his wife would have a baby,  not really shocking she had a 50/50 chance but the Doctors had told them that they cannot have one  but low and behold they did. This same Psychic said I would meet someone and we were going to start off as friends.

A couple of years later I went to another Psychic and she said yes I am going to meet ‘HIM” my soul mate, this meeting was going to take place at a party or big event like a wedding. She said he is a do-gooder, and that we will have a daughter. She too had told me a few things that happen to come true, they do not pertain to me personally so I will not divulge that information. I’ve been to many parties since that day and I have yet to meet ‘HIM’.

Lastly I went to a psychic a few months back he had said, he is coming, be open to it and it will be a fatal attraction.  I asked what he meant by fatal because fatal has never been a good word in my books, least of all to describe a relationship.  He said that we will be totally drawn to each other. I did not ask how I will meet said ‘Fatal Attraction’ because I did not want to start looking for him. 

Over the last four years I have seen 3 different psychics and they all say I am going to meet ‘HIM’.  After the first Psychic visit I kept looking to meet the friend that would turn into being more than a friend. After the second visit any guy I’d  meet I’d find out if he was into volunteering, or had causes he strongly believed in, I haven’t met that do-gooder , and the last visit I started to look for the guy that makes me breathless, because if I can’t breathe that is pretty fatal. Ladies save yourself the mind games, life is what you put into it, BELIEVE that you will find the right person.  Save your money and buy a nice pair of boots!  

Here is what I predict we will all find what it is that we really want if we believe and truly know what we want.  As with everything in life it’s a gamble but you never know what the cards hold until to play the game.

Cheers!

50 First Dates – Date #4 – the anticipated date that never happened

Ok, since going on 50 first dates is probably not really going to happen and every time I think about going on 50 dates, I feel utterly exhausted, I decided to also write about the dates I had thought were a go, but never happened.

I met let’s call him Derek (whouups, that’s his real name), through the natural way, online. He contacted me through the website on one of those free weekend things and gave me his email address cause he doesn’t have an account. He was cute, seemed pretty normal, and told me a lot about himself so I emailed him.

We emailed back and forth a couple times and I gave him my number to call. He called once and left a message, then he texted me twice, then he called again…wow “eager” I thought. Then we chatted one night on the phone for almost 2 hours. He seemed really cool, travelled, loved his job etc. We had a lot in common and he’s gearing up to buy a cottage…how awesome!

So at the end of our conversation he asked if I wanted to do dinner that next week. We set it up for early in the week because it was better for him as he works shifts. So on Sunday I texted him to see if Tuesday would work. I didn’t hear from him till Monday night saying “Hi Brea! Yes we’re still on, but could we make it later in the week?” I said for sure but Thursday was my only day and to let me know if that worked for him. I haven’t heard from him since. What the hell was that all about? I was actually looking forward to this one and then nothing?

Could he be married or have a girlfriend? Maybe, although he did contact me through the “Relationship” section – a section dedicated to the more “serious” of daters. Maybe he’s dead? Or has been exposed to extreme radiation or has tuberculosis? Or maybe his black berry fell in the tub with him and he was electrocuted? Or maybe he has a small penis and deep down knows I would not accept that?

We go through all these different “why” scenarios in our mind because there must be some explanation as to “why” he never called back or why he cancelled etc. But the reality is he just wasn’t that into me…or I guess into dating for that matter because I don’t understand how you can’t be into someone you’ve never met?

Anyways, I definitely think it’s the last scenario for Derek’s situation.

Adios!

Single Chick

Here's a little bit of cuteness to get you through the day

I'd  like you to meet my brother's new puppy. Doakes is a pug mix, hence why he has such soulful eyes, that would be the pug in him. Yes I do plan on stealing him this weekend, my niece and nephew are young they'll get over it quickly.

50 First Dates – Date #3

As a follow up to my blog “The Dating Machine”, I was chatting with Hopeful the other night and decided to blog about my dates. I’m determined to go on a least 50 this year (unless I meet the man of my dreams…or someone I like enough to go on at least 4 dates?). “The Dating Machine” covered my first 2 dating experience, #1 was ok and #2 was a series of multiple disasters.

Onwards to date #3! I recently joined a dating website and I’m actually enjoying it. Other than the occasional 52 year old that messages me, the guys seem ok and I don’t have to pay a cent cause they contact me! Tuesday night I met up with my first online date – we’ll call him Josh. Josh is 34, crazy into health and fitness (although he did have 2 Guinness and cheesecake!) and seemed decent enough. He’s an entrepreneur…owns a couple businesses and is a pretty busy guy. I told him “no wonder he hasn’t had time to date”. He said he wanted to build his empire first and then he could relax. Funny, cause I’m the complete opposite, I seem to keep tearing down my empire and will probably never retire!

We had really good conversation the whole night, there was a slight attraction there I think, although I’m not too sure. I’d need to go on a 2^nd or 3^rd date to find out for sure. At the end I told him that I had a really good time and he said he did too and that he was so nervous on the way to meet me cause he never does this sort of thing…and then he paid!

In the parking lot we hugged and I said if he wanted to do this again to give me a shout after his trip, he said that sounds great…and then he added “no pressure though right?”…huh? What the heck does that mean? I said “of course not”, but what I really should have said was “No, I don’t need or want to have your babies tomorrow.” Geez. But then he texted me and said he had a really good time and that I was just as cute in person…awwwwww.

It’s funny how people talk about how crazy girls can be when it comes to dating. There are all these self-help dating books directed at women telling us how we should and shouldn’t act, that we shouldn’t be so close minded in finding “the one” (give an ugly guy a chance), don’t talk about kids on the first date etc... And yet, guys seem to be just as ridiculous. I’ve dated guys in the last 2 years who;

1) have asked me if I wanted kids on the second date and who spent all his free time coaching little league

2) constantly phones and harasses me thinking I’m going to change my mind about him

3) told me that they don’t think about me when they’re not with me because they’re still pining over a girl they dated for 5 months 3 years ago

4) who after 5 weeks of dating got ridiculously drunk, made a public scene and then screamed that he “loves me man!!”.

Now if that’s not crazy behavior or in need of a self-help book, then I don’t know what is?

Single Chick