White Boots

Yes I know I’m in the 80’s but I happened across a pair of white boots in a store and not a store that I would ever imagine shopping at, as it is an odd old women’s, lost your sanity, not quite knowing what it is type of store. Anyway I was feeling nostalgic or delirious (the jury is still out) about getting them which I never did because I wasn’t sure if I could wear the boots or whether the boots would be wearing me. For those of you that don’t know the latter is not good.

With your clothes choices you have to remember that you should be wearing the clothes and the clothes should not be wearing you. What I mean by this is that the clothes you wear should make a statement but you are the ultimate statement and your clothes should never overrun you, if they do make new clothes choices.

The easiest way to know that you are the one wearing the clothes and not the reverse, is if you feel comfortable, relaxed, at ease and not fussed about things. If you aren’t feeling these things chances are your clothes are wearing you.

Happy Friday

Queen B

My Morning Coffee...

I have a daily routine at work that when 9 am hits my co-worker and I head for Tim Horton’s for our morning caffeine fix. I actually do not function at full mass until I have had my coffee. My morning coffee sets the tone for my whole day, its serious business. However, there have been times, happily very few times when the ‘Tim Hortons Ladies” have messed with my order. Today was one of those times, I like my large coffee with 2 creams nothing more. Today they added sugar, I cannot tell you how much sugar disgust me now when it is in my coffee. It seriously makes me feel sick, I use to be a 3 sugar Gal but decided one day that I needed to cut it out of my diet if I am going to be serious about leading a healthful life. Also my hero Tosca Reno says sugar is poison and it is! There is no nutritional or health benefits to eating sugar. If you have ever seen Tosca you understand why I look up to her. She is 50 and freakin Fabulous, I have had the honor of meeting her in person and let me tell you she looks the same in person as she does on the cover of Oxygen Magazine. How many fifty year olds do you know that have their butt on the cover of a national fitness magazine, yes she is to be admired. My goal is to have my butt on the magazine as well when I am fifty! (it is more of an on going joke with my friends, but hey you never know! Dream big or go home right?)

Now ladies if you are stressing about getting older it is unavoidable we age, such is life! Instead of looking to botox or whatever other crazy stuff they have out there to make you look younger I highly recommend looking to Tosca for inspiration. Her fit and clean eating lifestyle is proof that you can age beautifully without injections or going under the knife. Still not convinced check her out at www.toscareno.com

Hmm this blog was originally started to complain about my morning coffee. What started of as a rant turned into something positive, don’t you love when that happens. If only I could omit the cream from my coffee and drink it black than my morning coffee will never be ruined again. Unless they burn it, don’t you hate that?

 

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

We are our mothers....

They say that we become our mothers and I beginning to think this may be true. Not to long ago my mom called to tell me that she and my aunt have stopped going to the fitness classes at their local community center. When I ask her why she starts laughing and tells me the following:

“You know how during the cool down stretches it is nice and relaxing with the soft music playing and then the instructor tells us to cross our right leg over our left and pull in to feel the stretch, well when I pulled  I let one RIP! (Yes these are her words) I respond ‘Oh NO what did you do?” now she is laughing hysterically and  says I just said Good one! …Oh mom the shame. She informs me that this is what I have to look forward to when I turn 60.

I am nowhere close to turning 60 but I am my mother’s daughter. This past Saturday I had a session with my trainer. Now normally the gym has loud music playing and is very busy. Not this Saturday, no music and the gym was empty. I am doing jumping jacks and then it happens, yes I farted!! Oh the horror I thought that was not suppose to happen until I was 60?! I had no idea that it was coming, because if I did I could have squeezed the butt cheeks together in hopes of lowering the velocity of the sound. I wanted to jump my way right out of the gym, what do I do? I think should I just acknowledge it and say oops or try to pretend it did not happen. Better yet maybe I can mimic the noise so my trainer thinks it is just some strange acid reflux action. I rather him think it was gas coming out my mouth than my ass. I decide to just keep jumping and ignore the moment. However I could no longer look my trainer in the eye and I had become unusually silent. Sensing my shame and being the professional that he is, he started chatting with me until I finally got into the conversation and I put that moment behind me.

I was able to get through my session without further betrayal from my body but I was not completely over the embarrassment.  So when I got home the only thing I could think to do was tell my friends because I am hoping someone will tell me it has also happened to them. Just as I hoped a friend of mine e-mails me this story from his Jiu Jitsu days:

Speaking of bodily discharge embarrassments, remember Jiu Jitsu? That is the worst because you are rolling around with some guy and obviously there's a lot of struggle on the body and sometimes a man just gotsta fart.

You know he has a point, and sometimes a girl too just gotsta fart!

Hopeful in TO

Stress and Addiction

I think it’s interesting to see how people deal with stress. Myself personally I want to smoke, I know it’s awful and disgusting but since I’ve been smoking on and off for so long it’s my go to drug of choice. I know I’ll regret it afterwards but that first drag of a cigarette there is nothing in the world like it. It’s like an instant shot of heroin, not that I’ve ever done this, but it’s what I think heroin addicts feel, bliss and relief.

Speaking of addictions I am strangely drawn to Intervention (on A&E) and Addicted (on TLC). I know why I am, it’s because I am curious as to how people get to certain stages in their lives. I find these shows extremely fascinating, but also truly hard to stomach, especially when I see drug addicts shooting up substances. It’s weird I have no problem with needles for blood donating, going to the doctors, regular immunization shots, but watching people shoot up drugs disturbs me tremendously. I think it’s because I think they might die and I truly don’t want to see that. In my mind I know the producers wouldn’t let that happen but people who are desperate and shooting up make me turn the channel.

I also find the drugs hold on them scary. The thought that you can’t deal with daily life and need to be clouded by a substance to get through has to be the most terrible thing ever. I wonder how did things get so bad and why does it seem (at least to me) that some people get sucked in to drugs and others can be casual users? If I have to choose something to be addicted to I guess in the grand scheme of things cigarettes aren’t so bad, but it’s still an addiction which isn’t a good thing.

Queen B

Overcoming Negative Thoughts...

There is a company that I really want to work for so I have their career page bookmarked on my computer. I check it daily for job postings that I may be suitable for. One such posting has recently been advertised, my heart leaped out of my chest I was so excited when I saw it. My resume is in good standing but the task that I have the most difficulty with is writing the dreaded cover letter. I want to make a career change into the health and fitness industry in which this company is a big name. Therefore my cover letter is very important, it needs to draw their attention enough to look at my resume and call me for an interview. My problem is that I undersell myself, I can tell you  the great things that my friends have accomplished but when it’s about me I don’t express myself with such confidence.

I know that most women have a hard time in selling themselves, that we undervalue what we do. How do we overcome this?

1)   Surround yourself with great friends; a good friend will tell you how awesome you are and tell you when you are acting like a giant ass. 

2)   Daily Affirmations, tell yourself everyday that you are valuable, intelligent, confident and strong. I have done this but not consistently and when I do it does work I leave the house feeling confident and unstoppable.  

3)   Become conscious of your thoughts, realize that you are saying I can’t when you should be saying I can or I don’t like this about myself say I love that I can __________ (Burp the alphabet?) etc.

Thankfully I do have great friends the help remind me of all that I have accomplished. One such friend is great at business writing and has help me with my cover letter this wasn’t the first time I have acquired her services in this area. Apparently my letter that stated “Please can I have this job? Pretty Please” was not sufficient. Fortunately she has my back.

Have you more negative thoughts than positive ones? What steps are you taking to overcome this? We’d love to hear your tips on how to stomp on the Negative voice in your head.

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO

In a Perfect World...

I have noticed that people these days are way to self absorbed. Yes I have been guilty of this; you get so wrapped up in your world that sometimes common courtesy goes out the window. However important you think you are, there are times’/situations when you have to put yourself on hold. This past winter I took a major wipeout on some ice and gave myself a mild concussion. A man behind me, who saw what happened, but do you think he took a moment to ask if I were okay, no he just speeds past like nothing happened. Was he embarrassed for me, is that why he did not stop? Or was he late for work? My money is on the latter. Then a couple of weeks ago, I had to attend a funeral for my boss’s 18 year old son. At the church while waiting for the ceremony to commence there was a woman in front of me texting, she could not put her life on hold to show her respect long enough to stop texting. To me there is no excuse for such behavior and it took all my strength not to smack her in the head. If your job is that important send a card, do not disrespect this family’s grief by texting in church.

I know I have been guilty of being selfish and not taking the time to help someone out when I should have (if someone fell in front of me I would stop, I’m not that awful). I am making an effort to change this, for example I was late for meeting with friends one Saturday night, and as I was running to the subway platform there was a blind man in obvious need of assistance. I almost ran past because I figured someone is less of a hurry can help him. Then I realized I am late for what? Drinking with the girls? What kind of asshole am I, so I stopped and helped him down to the platform and felt so much better that I did so. Were the girls mad that I was late, not one bit, it was just me being caught up in my own mind made drama. So I ask that we all try to take a moment and think to yourself what is it that you have to do that is so much more important than helping a fellow human being out. Chances are good it’s really not that important and if we help someone in need we’d feel so much better about ourselves.

Now that being said I do think a perfect world would just consist of puppies, sunflowers and blueberry pie. In my world a random Hot Hottie  shows up Friday evening with dinner and leaves Sunday morning after he’s made me breakfast in bed. Then the next week another random Hot Hottie shows up and the cycle repeats itself. ‘Sigh’ do you think that’s what heaven is like???

What’s your perfect world?

Hopeful in TO

Friends with Benefits

I am not a prude but to clarify I am not a slut either but after reading this article some of you may think otherwise. There have been many discussions about the friends with benefits scenario and I’m here to tell you to be open minded and to know that it can and does exist with no problems. I’m not going to lie to you and make it appear to be easy peasy because you have to be ready and okay with this type of set-up and if you’re not then it’s not for you and that is fine too. For me personally I think it’s a healthy “relationship” and nothing to fear and to make it work my “friend” and I have some rules in place so that lines are not blurred.

The Rules:

1. If you’re sleeping with me it’s only me, if you’re dating/sleep with another person and go into a relationship with someone else this ends.

2. There is no mandatory staying overnight.

3. There is no date like dinner/drinks outings. Drinks or grabbing a bite at home is fine but that’s it.

4. No need to call the next day.

5. No weirdness about telling the other person if you’re wanting a break from this arrangement and just want to go back to friends (with no benefits).

I know to some of you this is completely nuts and I get that but my arrangement has worked for me in the past and now. I started having these special friends (yes I know that comes off slutty) in my early 20’s as relationships are hard and I had needs as I’m sure many of you do. My first arrangement kind of just happened, we never really discussed it but we knew what we were and what we weren’t. As I got older my ability to communicate improved and now I have a completely open (with no expectations) arrangement setup with a friend who like me doesn’t over analyze things.

I know you’re thinking why haven’t you fallen for this person or why hasn’t he fallen for you? There isn’t anything wrong with him or me for that matter but it’s just not like that. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s a very different experience with my “friend” then if I was in a relationship with someone. We are acting on impulse with not much emotion involved, in a relationship it’s emotion and action which is completely different. You are not in this “relationship” for the long haul you’re in it to satisfy a need and nothing more. If you remember that you are safe if you’re overly emotional or dramatic this will definitely not work. Only you can decide. The one thing I know is a world full of people having sex is a lot happier than a world where people aren’t.

Queen B

The Rock Goddess vs. The Fitness Goddess

The jiggle around the middle battle continues, my goal is now set, as of July I will fit into my skinny jeans. I want to feel my most confident before I teach my first spin class. I do not want to be up on a podium worrying about my jiggly bits. This mean I need a serious plan of action, I know I can look to Amanda for support since she is training for a figure competition and wants to wear a bikini on stage so I figure it should be a cake walk to be fully clothed teaching something I love. It’s not like my goal is to wear a bikini while teaching spin class. If you have taken a spin class you can get a clear visual as to what that would look like…Not pretty! I think I will leave the bikini wearing to Amanda, you go girl!!

Now back to the plan of action, first is my diet. I am aware when I am making bad food choices and I do know what the healthier options are but my biggest obstacles are the social outings. As a single female in the city you need to go out. I cannot stay home every weekend I will never meet anyone that way. However our outings always include alcohol, mind you it is not always a Rock Goddess drunk fest. Usually it is a couple of beers which leads to Nachos or poutine consumption, sometimes both. You see I believe life is about balance, unfortunately there are times when the scaled is tipped more in the favor of the Rock Goddess not the Fitness Goddess. I am still trying to figure out how to get the two of them to get along since they are both sharing the same body.

The Rock Goddess believes life is short, have fun while you can. If that fun is going to rock shows, drinking beers and eating Nachos than let your Freak Flag Fly. But what the Rock Goddess forgets while drinking beers and eating Nachos is that she cannot fit into her favorite Bon Jovi T-shirt it looks more like a crop top now while hovering over her belly button ring. Rock On!!!

The Fitness Goddess spends all week repairing the damage of the Rock Goddess, she eats nothing but Spinach smoothies, organic chicken and veggies She works out 4 days a week, two of those days with her personal trainer. Her trainer is fantastic and would probably get better results from Fitness Goddess if he did not have to also deal with Rock Goddess.

Now how do I get these two to play nice with each other?
 
We all have different sides to ourselves that compete for dominance, what two sides do you currently have battling it out for supremacy?

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

Why do you choose the men you do?

I recently picked up ‘She Crazy, He’s a Liar’ by Cecily Knobler it's a fun read about the woes of dating. There is a chapter about your chooser, why we choose the men we do.

This got me to thinking why do I choose the men I do.  I get weak in the knees over a man with long hair, nice lips, and a great smile. Throw some tattoos, a love for heavy metal and dogs in the mix and all hope for me is lost. 

This all started when I was eight years old and my first real crush was on my best friends neighbour, let’s call him Jake. Jake was about 19, long brown hair, blue eyes, lips to die for and the greatest smile. Jake would wash his yellow mustang every Saturday, wearing nothing but skin tight jeans and playing ACDC ‘s  ‘Balls to the wall’. I would hang out on my friend’s fence and chat with Jake about how immature my brothers were, and tell him all the reason why I hated the color pink. Thinking about it now I realize Jake probably turned out to be one of the good ones, because at the age of 19 he humored an 8 year old who was obviously in love with him. Ever since I laid eyes on Jake that is the kind of guy I lust after, and it probably explains why the mustang is my favorite car.

Is this where I am going wrong? My brother tells me whatever it is that you’re doing do the opposite because what you’re doing now isn’t working. Hmm I was thinking he may have a point but the one time I did not go after a ‘Jake’ it turned out to be the worst relationship of my life. All the ‘Jakes’ in the past were great guys, the break-ups were mutual to some degree, there was never any mean words or nastiness involved. When I did the opposite, he was opposite in everything I would go for, he had no lips, never smiled, his sense of humor was at the expense of others and he did not appreciate heavy metal. What was I thinking?! Oh yeah I was thinking try something different. This relationship lasted way longer then it should have; it was the first time in my life that I had told someone that I hated them and meant it. So is my chooser really off? I had chosen well before, and did not experience the nasty side of dating until I went against my norm. However now it’s much harder to find the Jake’s out there, especially when you live in a city where the Metro Sexual Man thrives. Is my chooser really broken or do I just need to fine tune it?  

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO

We all need inspiration once in a while

Recently my friend Amanda has announced her desire to compete in a fitness competition. Her goal is to be on stage by October. I support my friend in her mission and believe I will be one face among many that will be cheering her on. I give her words of encouragement because I want Amanda to succeed. I believe everything that I tell her, however I do not always follow my own advice.  I advised Amanda to start a blog about her fitness journey, I told her that once she puts her goals out there the support will come in and it has.  I also told her not to worry about what others think. There will be friends and family members that think  you’re crazy and may discourage you from your mission, but once they see that you are serious they will come around. Then again maybe they won’t, but not to worry there will be plenty of people in her corner. I believe this, but I have not incorporated this into my life, well not 100% at least. I too have goals and have slowly started to share some of them but I admit I am fearful that those closest to me will not understand or support me.

I had announced to my classmates last month that one goal for this summer was to get my spinning certificate and to teach a Rock spin class at my gym. I been thinking about this awhile now, because I am so tired of hip-hop and Britney Spears and I think here must be others that feel the same way. I want to teach the Friday night class because there is no set instructor for that class and Friday night is a good night to get your Rock On!! When I made this announcement to my class I said if I can do this I can do anything and I believe this. However I am terrified, I am a quiet person, I do not yell and have been told that I am soft spoken. I have jumped leaps and bounds in getting my voice heard but to yell into a headset at 40 people will be my ultimate test. Amanda has told me that my words of “If I can do this, I can do anything” were motivating for her. Now Amanda I have to tell you that when  you said that to me, you motivated me to live by my words. So I have taken step number one and have registered for the Spin Instructor Certificate Program on July 10th (that was the first available date) , so come the end of July I will teach my first Rockin Spin class.

Now I am living by my words and announcing my goal to cyberspace. Its out there, I registered and now I have to put my money where my mouth is and follow through. Thanks Amanda for inspiring me!!

What are your goals and dreams?  I’d love to hear them. If you need words of encouragement or support, e-mail me I’d be happy to cheer you on. I love hearing of peoples success stories and I love supporting people in pursuing their dreams.

Here is Amanda’s blog and you too can cheer her on.   http://myjourneyintotheworldoffitness.blogspot.com/

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

The Jiggle around the middle...

Lately I’m feeling like a Jell-O commercial, ‘See it wiggle, see it jiggle” around the middle. I’m not sure where this belly is coming from, I workout, I eat clean 5 - 6 days a week, but I swear the jiggle is getting bigger. I know age is part of the equation, and part is probably my obsession with it. I do realize that our personal perceptions of ourselves are distorted. One zit means we have acne, 5 pounds looks like 30 and to top it off we try to squeeze into those favorite jeans that no longer fit just to prove to ourselves that yes we’ve gained weight.

I know I should get rid of those jeans, I have not fit into them in two years, but I hang on to them like some sort of lifeline. Every other month I try to squeeze into them, and when I cannot button them up it starts a downward spiral of self-pity and self-loathing. WHY? I am a totally sane reasonable person, I think? So why do I do this to myself?

 I know I am not alone I have friends that have that favorite pair of jeans, dress or top in  their closet that they hope to one-day fit into. However that day keeps getting farther and father away, yet we never throw those items out. They are our nemeses hanging in our closets taunting us, knowing we will never rid of them, knowing that any day we will decide to squeeze into them because we have not tortured ourselves in a while.

Just this morning I confronted my nemeses and told those jeans I will be wearing them in July, come hell or high water. If I have to do cardio every day I WILL! If I need to train more with my trainer I WILL! If I need to cut out all grains like breads and pasta I WILL! If I have to cut beer out of my diet, I will…Oh wait could it be the beer? Nah, that’s just crazy talk!

Does anyone want to join me in my mission to take my nemeses down? What’s your nemesis and what are you going to do to fight it?

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

Random Thought #2

You know you are fat when your coat rips as you reach for the radio dial and no, the coat is not zipped up!!!

Wrong....

I know it’s wrong to judge people but when it comes to clothing I say that sometimes people need a slap a tap or a shake because their choices boggle the mind. Living in Toronto I know it’s hard to dress for the spring weather as things change day by day and even hour by hour, but really when you’re wearing a parka with open toe shoes and no socks that should tell you something.

I want to give you all the best advice you’ve ever gotten on how to dress for spring….layer….it’s really not a new idea, it’s actually my recommendation for all seasons….But more so for spring when you’re getting up to 2C and it's warming to 18C during the day. All you have to do is take off more clothes to adjust to the temperature that suits you.

Common sense is lacking when people dress for spring. I think everyone should consider the following things: What are you dressing for? What is the weather like and what will it be like during the day? What shoes are you planning to wear? And above all else, is the overall outfit appropriate. It’s really not that hard, it’s quite simple in fact and yes, I like everyone else make mistakes but the one thing I do know is that at least I try.

Queen B

Just Because I'm Single...

Why do non-single people out there think because you’re single and they know a single person that the two of you should hook up. That it will be a good match because you have singledom in common. My former landlady once told me to check out her brother when he comes by to fix the plumbing at my place. She said he is also single BUT (really when is a BUT ever good) he has let himself go. He has gained about 100 pounds, okay she lost me at 100 pounds, well in truth she lost me at BUT. She than proceeded to say how ‘Hot’ he was before he let himself go and that she will bring pictures to show me how ‘Hot’ he was. I think her brother needs to get a new sales woman because her pitch is way off. She told me to nudge him if I liked him (Are we in grade school? Nudge, come on) The big day comes and she shows up at the house with her brother…hmmm I will try to be nice however it looked like he got hit with the ugly stick actually more like beaten with it. 100 pound weight gain was an understatement, try 200. His chin melted into his neck. He had facial warts now those did not appear because of weight gain; I am going to assume he always had them. How he could have been ‘Hot’ is beyond me. He started to chat with me about what a good tenant I was ..blah blah blah He was going on about how he loves animals and what a good dog Shmoo is, I think he was trying to impress me. Try again big guy! I was standing there thinking this has to be a joke, I am just single not diseased. Was there desperation written on my face? What made this woman to think that I would possibly want to date her brother? HONESTLY!!! So to all you people out there that try and fix your single friends up with someone’s else single friend, relative, whatever…. if you care about the single person in your life you will not do this to them.. Please Stop…You Know Who You Are!

Has this ever happened to you? If so tell us about it.

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO

REAL MEN EAT MEAT...

I once went on a date with a vegetarian, I do not see anything wrong with being a vegetarian it is a personal choice and I respect that. I will call this particular vegetarian “The Cowboy” because when I met him he was wearing a cowboy hat. Okay in my defense I did do shooters that evening. We had decided we would go out for dinner and a movie he picks me up at my place and thankfully he was not wearing the cowboy hat. He tells me I look great, not off to a bad start he noticed the effort I made to look good. Than he proceeds to say “Hey I look great too don’t you think?”...Really?! Am I supposed to compliment you when all you did was shower for this date? That should have been my first sign that it was going to get worse from there. I had to endure a 20 minute conversation about how his other car which was a Porsche but it was in the shop so he had to take his Civic instead. Dude give a girl some credit I was not born yesterday and I could care less what kind of car you drive, if I’m not paying for bus fair it’s all good. We finally get to the restaurant and by this point I am screaming in my head. Our dinner conversation was all about my looks and how good looking we were. When he was not talking about my looks or his looks he was talking about how he got his masters in a less than the required 2 years and how he should teach tennis on the side and make $100 an hour..and on and on and on . Never once did he ask about me I was basically just an object, a pretty ornament for him to display I guess. I felt awful, it made me feel like I could not possibly have a thought of my own or have anything interesting to say. I was totally objectified and I realize I don’t like it!! At this point I should have said take me home I am pretty much done with this date.  I stuck it out and went to the movie, the saving grace is that it was a great movie but “The Cowboy” did keep trying to paw at me and I told him to watch the movie..GROSS!!

After the date he drops me off but he wanted to come in. HELL NO! I told him that Shmoo my Boxer did not like men.(that was the biggest lie ever Shmoo was a big suck, but you had to be worthy to have the privilege of meeting him) ‘The Cowboy” comes in for a kiss, he moaned and said he could eat me “AS IF! I’m a meat product!”… That’s when I ran inside locked the door and took a long hot shower to scrub the creepiness of the whole evening off of me… So thanks to the Vegetarian Cowboy that is when I decided that real men eat meat!

Ladies tell me your thoughts; do you think Real Men Eat Meat?

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO