New Level of Douch Bag

To all you Singe Gals out there, especially you newly Single Gals be warned it’s a different era for dating; the rules are there are no rules. Apparently you can date someone for as long or as little as you like and never have to break-up with them face to face. You have so many options to dump or get dumped by. For instance there is the ‘I’m not interested in a relationship at this time” test message tre classy right? Not! Than there is the “I don’t mean to be a jerk, but there was no spark I’m really busy TTYL “ sent via Facebook. The voicemail break-up that happened while you were sleeping or the e-mail letter explaining what a great person you are but it’s not going to work out. It tough ladies AND gentlemen. Yes guys I know we gals do not always behave our best either and have used such methods to avoid the conformation as well or that awkward conversation having to tell someone we are just not that into them.

Just when I’ve come to terms with new age of dating this guy goes and takes it to an all new level ….Isn’t it enough to know that you may be breaking someone’s heart but do you have to totally destroy them? I just wonder what could possible be next….

All I can say to Jennifer is that he did you a favor! By the looks of his sign making abilities he is probably kicking you out of the trailer home and truly believes that you wanted nothing more than to marry him and have a litter of children, which in his drunken state scared the crap out of him so he resorted to this douche bag tactic. Jennifer maybe you can post up signs

“ MOVED OUT”

“SHACKING UP WITH BOB WITH THE BIG TRAILER IN THE CORNER LOT”


‘I’VE FINALLY DECIDED TO TAKE MEDS FOR THE CHLAMYDIA”

‘HAVE A NICE LIFE!”

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

Am I a Crazy Dog Lady?

Recently I have taken to spending my down time surfing the net for puppies. I would like to get another dog when I am done school and have more time to take care of him/her. I spend hours looking for Pugs, Boston Terriers, Boxers and Bull Dog breeders.

As you can see I love the stocky, droopy faced big headed dogs. In a perfect world I would own all 4 of these breeds, but in reality if I did I would be known as the ‘crazy dog lady’. Now girls we want to avoid being labeled ‘crazy’ at all costs. So if you are single please do not own more than two pets at a time, any more that than that you will be labeled the crazy cat/dog/animal lady. Now I have been surfing for months, looking at puppies, sending pictures of cute puppies to ‘Single Chick’  and obsessing on them. She finally had to intervene and tell me that maybe I should be spending my time surfing the net for men. I’ve tried that, and eHarmony was a bust!!! However this did get me to thinking am I subconsciously lonely and seeking a companion? Is my surfing the net for a new puppy a way to distract me from my currently Single Status? Or am I really just a ‘Crazy Dog Lady’ waiting to break free?!

What do you think?

 Cheers!

Hopeful in TO

Random Thought #1

There is no such a thing as a clean ass!!!

What to wear? Spring fashion tips.

I love fashion, I have always loved fashion, I read magazines, I watch people on the street, I have watched Fashion Television since I can remember and I of course love to shop. If you know me you’ll know that I’m diverse in what I like to wear. Sometimes I’m very girly, girl, sometimes I’m professional, sometimes it’s flirty and other times casual cool. I can dress up and dress down with the best of them.

The advise I will give you all is to know your body, accept your body, love your body and work with your body in the clothes you buy. You don’t have to buy the most expensive items out there but you should buy quality pieces that will last for years. Remember your clothes are an investment and they should work for you not against you.

Since it’s spring I’m going to give you my top 5 tips on what I think every girl should have in their closet.

Tip #1: A great pair of spring/summer jeans. The reason I say spring/summer jeans is because sometimes the denim on your jeans is too thick and isn’t going to work during the warm days of spring. So find yourself a great lighter denim that fits you properly and you’re good to go.
Note: The trend this season (again) is ripped jeans I wouldn’t recommend spending a lot on an expensive pair of ripped jeans but a cheaper pair that works on you is a good trendy piece.
Tip #2: White. I love white, I don’t wear enough white and I should because I’ve got a great skin tone for it. Anyway I digress what I recommend is that you have some great white tops, dresses, skirts, shorts and/or shoes (flats preferably) that are white. It is spring and even if you don’t have a tan, your natural spring/summer glow makes white pop.
Tip #3: A great pair of shorts. I love shorts, and what you have to remember about shorts is that you need to understand your body. A great walking short can work for almost anyone, to dress up, put on some heels, a great top and some banging accessories. To dress it down change to a more casual shoe and top. If you are opting for a shorter short, remember to make it look classy and not trashy. Wear a flatter shoe during the day and switch to heels at night to dress up the look.
Note: The trend this season is the shortest shorts around, while I don’t recommend this look for most people, if you have legs that are hot and go for miles, work it.
Tip #4: A great dress. All good wardrobes need to have a great spring/summer dress. The dress doesn’t need to be all girly but you should look feminine in the dress. If you are not the girly type opt for a more structured wrap dress or shirt dress. I love dresses in the summer for many reasons, not the least of which is the quick transfer from day to evening with shoe and accessory changes.
Tip #5: Flats. Victoria Beckham may live in 5 inch heels but some of us enjoy walking the streets in the summer. So having a great, funky flat shoe that is stylish but comfortable is a must. There are so many options available with skins (think snake, real not fake) and textures that you are sure to find something you like.

Fashion is fun and unpredictable and whimsical enjoy it.

Queen B

What's in Your Closet

This weekend I  purged. No, this does not mean that I drank too much and spent the weekend hanging over the toilet bowl. I went through my closet and got rid of all the stuff I have not worn in the past year and donated it to goodwill. It always amazes me at some of the stupid purchases I have made. It’s like, do you know yourself or not! I found this lovely orange handkerchief shirt..yes I own a piece that isn’t black, which I have since been informed that black is not a colour? UH?! What was I thinking? Did I relapse back to the age of 18? OH right, it was to go with my orange shoes!! Damn I need to get that shirt back what will I wear with those shoes???

Then there is the naughty nurse’s outfit that I bought one Halloween. It is still in my closet in the hopes that one day I get to play naughty nurse to a feisty doctor. When he says open up and say ‘AH’ I just need to bend over and he will be able to see my tonsils just fine. Hmm I think I just went from Naughty Nurse to Nasty Nurse….. Probably time to get rid of the outfit.

Finally we have the Little Black Dress ala Rock Goddess style; it laces up the front and just barely covers the crack of my ass. Was I drunk when I bought this?  I’m pretty sure I wasn’t …I think I learned my lesson the last time I went shopping drunk and came home with a pair of stripper shoes.

                               

Or have I finally embraced my entry into cougardom? Maybe I should look for those stripper shoes to wear with my Rock Goddess dress and go cub hunting! Meow!!!

Have you looked in your closet lately? Have a look and tell us what you find.

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO

Ps. Queen B maybe you should write up those spring fashion tips since I am in obvious need of them.

Stop the excuses Tiger....

I don’t really care for celebrity. I do read gossip blogs but it comes more from being bored and for the simple fact that I feel the need to keep up to date with the “going’s on” in our twisted celebrity obsessed world. Plus I am truly amused by it and actually find myself wondering are these people for real? Do they believe the sh*t they spew or is it for the benefit of the media and/or fans? Either way I find it quite entertaining.

I recently read that Tiger Woods is going to wear a Buddhist bracelet that is supposed to provide “strength and protection”. Really a bracelet is going to do all that? Honestly if it was so easy I think we would all be subscribing to that program. Don’t get me wrong, I am not mocking the Buddhist faith, I just find it quite sad that people will find any excuse to justify their actions. In Tiger’s case he blames the fact he quit meditating, he quit being a Buddhist, and life turned upside down for him. I know a lot of people who have lost faith in “God”, “Buddha”, “Allah” whoever but they didn’t become whores.

I do believe that faith helps, my philosophy is that you should use what works for you as long as it’s not to the detriment of others. I just hate that people don’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s easy to blame your faith, your parents, your bullying etc….but you know what everyone has a brain, you should know right from wrong and if you cared for yourself and others you would be a decent, respectful human being. You know what I think Tiger? I think you still would have been a whore even if you kept your faith. You thought you were above things, you had no respect for your wife or kids or yourself and you were a grade A a*shole.

Let’s call a spade a spade, because when you truly know yourself it doesn’t matter what you’re presented with you will do the right thing.

Queen B

Jessie James and Sandra Bullock is there hope...

The recent Jessie James and Sandra Bullock scandal has shaken the Single Gals camp. I hate celebrity gossip, I have no interest in who’s dating who, and who has a bump or doesn’t have a bump. The one celebrity relationship that I did have interest in was Sandra and Jessie. Sandra seems sweet and down to earth, she gushed about Jessie in interviews it was obvious that she was in love. Of all the celebrity couples out there they seemed the most real and likely to last forever, they were very low profile and happy together. It was a nice fusion of bad boy meets cute funny girl next door however it now seems Jessie is a true bad boy after all.

I received an e-mail from Single Chick saying ‘This Jesse James and Sandra thing is really bothering me...I feel so sad. Are there no good men left in this world?” Single Chick I feel your pain, and I know how much you liked them as a couple because Jessie was the kind of guy we both hoped to get one day. Now that dream seems to have been shattered but we need to remember that they live in the land of Celebrity. As normal as their lives may seem they are not, how can you have a ‘Normal’ (whatever that means) life when you are constantly watched. I feel for Sandra, as a women who has had her heart broken I can only imagine what she is going through and she has to do it publicly, that is truly awful! However we cannot let this get us down, or lose faith in finding a good man. They are out there, I believe that, just look at some of the amazing men that our friends have found. There is André, who supports ‘V” in everything the she does, Andy who is an amazing dad and loves his family to no end and Neil who is hard working, and who’s dream is to be able to work from home to play with his kids. The list goes on, our friends have managed to find good men, so they are out there!! Don’t give up hope my friend I haven’t…….Yet.

This scandal does prompt me to ask,Why do seemingly happy people in good relationships, mess them up with affairs? Are they seeking excitement? Is it really just about sex? Can’t you have thrilling sex with someone you love? Why do people that want numerous lovers bother marrying? Why are all these married people hooking up, when I a Single Gal cannot get a date?????

Hopeful in TO

Strangers in Paradise…

Virtual sex, what is this world coming to? What happened to vibrators ladies? Recently the Fifth estate ran a story on a woman who left her husband and kids to run off to England to meet her virtual lover. There is a web site called “Second Life” with over 2.5 millions users. On this site you can live the ultimate fantasy life. Anything is possible, you can be a millionaire, a Rock Star, own a jet, and have random virtual sex if you so desire, all from the comfort of your computer chair.

It seems that 2.5 million people would rather live in this virtual world than in reality. Caroline a mother of four is one of them. She is convinced that she has met her virtual soul mate and is willing to leave her family to meet Elliott her virtual partner. Poor Caroline is all wrapped up in Elliot’s virtual persona; she has forgotten that Elliott is just like her; bored with his life. He is obviously lacking social skills or why else would he be looking for love in a virtual world. I bet in his Second Life world he looks like Brad Pitt rather than the Pee Wee Herman he is in reality. Caroline has forgotten the key word here….FANTASY!

I fear for our future generations, what life will be like for them. Are all social interactions going to be virtual? Will those of us that live in the real world have to go into hiding because we will be known as the freaks of society? Am I old school since I believe that the man of my dreams exists in the real world? Maybe it is me that is living in the fantasy world?

http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/2008-2009/strangers_in_paradise/

Life After The Ball...

A week has lapsed since ‘The Ball’ and ‘Prince Charming’ has not called. I honestly thought he was going to, I just felt it in my gut. However I always wonder how you tell a gut instinct from wishful thinking. Did my wanting for him to call create that gut feeling?

At ‘The Ball’ I was all girl, from my sparkly necklace to the diamonds in my shoes. I was not the beer chugging ‘Rock Goddess’ from the Steal Panther concert. So why wouldn’t ‘Prince Charming’ call? I am realist, and I usually do not make up excuses for why something didn’t happen but to ease my disappointment I came up with the following reasons why:

1) He is a Secret Service agent and he got called away on a secret mission to protect the president.

2) He got abducted by Aliens and they deleted his long term memory

3) He got intimidated by my hotness (hmm this is my favorite theory) Yup this is why, I feel it in my gut!

So what does ‘Modern Day Cinderella’ do now? She puts the dress in the cleaners, stores the shoes on the top of her closet so they can collect dust and does killer kick boxing session with her personal trainer. This is Real Life after all.











Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

TV vs. Real Life

Yesterday I was watching season two of Six Feet Under, I love the show but was getting annoyed with some of the main characters. Yes I know this show has long ended and is old news but it is new to me. I was getting irritated by Nate and Brenda, actually it was Brenda she is driving me nuts. I know she is unstable, but how long does it take for someone to get over themselves. I realize this is a TV show but I believe there is some reality there, like the crazy chick getting the great guy. I am convinced that men want to save us; we need to have family issues, insecurities and to run hot and cold. One minute Brenda wants Nate, then the next she can’t stand him, this apparently has been going on for a year and he is madly in love with this head case.

Not only is Brenda a hot mess but her brother is nuts, her parents are beyond loopy; yet Nate still hangs around. I thought it was stuff like that; that sent men running. Why is Nate still hanging around? Well I figure it comes down to this, he thinks he is going to be the man that will save Brenda, he can provide her with the love she so wants but does not think she deserves. He can be there for every breakdown, which makes her dependent on him, in turn makes him feel needed. I think this bothers me so much because I had lived with Crazy, and you can’t fix them, they have to want to fix themselves.

We all want to feel needed and loved but do we have to be broken to get it? Is our desire to save the one we think we can’t live without a true desire to help or is this a need human beings have to feed their egos? I have no desire to save anyone, I will give a helping hand if you asked me for help, but I will not go out of my way to fix someone’s issues. Living with Crazy has taught me that only we can fix ourselves; we are responsible for our happiness and if you haven’t showered in a week seek help!!!

Is there hope for those of us that have it together? Yes I believe so; they say we attract what we put out into the universe. I believe this; I know that I had attracted Crazy because I was not ready to make the changes within myself yet, so I attracted someone that had worse issues so I can fix him. So if you want to be saved you will attracted the person who wants to save you, the secret is to know what you want. Once you know, live the life that will attract the things you want and the person who fits your beliefs will come along.

I believe I will marry Leo Dicaprio, I believe I will marry Leo Dicaprio, I believe I will marry Leo Dicaprio, I believe I will marry Leo Dicaprio!

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

The Crazies….

I know you don’t know too much about me but what you will realize over time is that if there is a crazy man in a place he will find me and latch on like nobody’s business. I kindly call them the crazies, aka good stories the next day. Last night was no exception, it started off innocently enough but then turned quickly into another episode of ‘The Crazies’. The funny thing about this particular story is that I wasn’t even drunk yet and I was getting offers to be paraded around the restaurant as the “hottest girl”, being spat on and pushed into the wall by the same ‘married man’ that was enamoured by my beauty. This crazy came with another married man for “Hopeful in TO” we’ll call him crazy #2. He was a winner as well considering he texted his buddy and said that his friend hit on “10’s”, while flattering as this may be I am more than a number, even if the number is a 10.

Off we went to another locale to catch the Steel Panther show. If you don’t know who they are google them, it’s worth it, especially if you have a sense of humour. In the line-up we high fived a guy so you know the show is starting off with a bang…Then in the coat check line a girl who just bought Steel Panther panties started putting them on in front of us, if this doesn’t give you a sense of the type of show we were at I don’t know what will….We then go to find a place on the floor in front of the stage and we meet a group of nicely ripped tattooed boys who claimed to be strippers, and they started doing some stripper dance moves. Fun times, fun times…

Then we headed to another section of the bar and a group of guys with eye make-up, Steel Panther shirts and fake mullets were making some eye contact so being the friendly people we are we start chatting them up. Needless to say there were kisses, application of eyeliner on the guy from Australia, me (Queen B) being lifted up (a couple of times) and having conversations with boys about trust issues. I’m not exactly sure how the conversation thing happened but apparently my 23 year old fake mullet wearing friend thinks I have trust issues. LOL, who doesn’t and why was I having this conversation at a concert?

Honestly I’m surprised I remember any of this given my trip home was a blur and I’m sure I hit some trees along the way. But today’s ultimate reminder are the bruises on my right shoulder, it seems the crazies are getting violent so I need to be more careful.

Queen B

Girl You Rock!....NOT!

I am a Rocker at heart; I love everything about the scene. The hair, ripped jeans, tattooed rocker boys, the partying. Unfortunately the morning after sucks, how do Rock Stars do it? Do they just keep the party going hence the term ‘Party like a Rock Star’? My only indulgence was beer, but today I feel like I downed a bottle of tequila. My head hurts, I can’t focus, I’m craving poutine at 10 in the morning and I smell like last nights booze. Gee and I wonder why I am Single!

It always amazes me that you can go from feeling like a total Rock Goddess to pathetic Rock Star wanna be in a matter of hours. In the sober light of day it doesn’t seem like it was such a good idea to have a beer chugging contest with a 22 year old in mullet wig. (Queen B will blog about the finer details of our evening) I guess it could have been worse I usually end up having head banging contests with 22 year olds in which I have necks pains for a week. Also I did not end up with a drunk tattooed Rock Star wanna be in my bed ……..this time.

Once again I am saying I have to stop the Rock Star ways, but I realize next week is St.Paddy’s day, 30 seconds to Mars is coming to town and I have a wine tasting event to attend. Okay maybe I’ll stop in April.

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

A modern day Cinderella Story…

This past weekend I had to attend an ‘Army Ball’. I was a blind date for my friend’s boyfriend's friend who did not want to attend this event alone. I can’t say I blame him since it did consist of all couples. I am not a “Ball” kind of gal I didn’t even own a dress so I had to buy one. I also got my hair done and I think I made quite a stunning companion, and I will admit it was nice to be girlie. Now since I am neither a ‘Girlie Girl’ nor do I like to dress up, you may be wondering why did she agree to go?

I agreed for a couple of reasons,

1) To get out of my comfort zone and expose myself to new things.
2) Hoping there would be some hot Army Dudes (seriously did you expect anything else)

My date was very nice and a perfect gentleman, there was no interest there so it made for a fun, relaxed evening. I will say this ‘The Ball’ was a mixed bag of nuts. Some really eccentric people were present, wearing everything from puffy shirts to over the top ball gowns. Then there was ‘Hef’ a handsome older gentleman with his paisley satin smoking jacket, and his HOT younger wife. Because it was an Army Ball I was expecting a sea of green instead; it was a sea of red jackets, kilts and plaid pants. Imagine, the fancy ball gowns, the kilts and 'Hef' thrown in the mix, hence why I say it was a mixed bag of nuts.

My illusion that ‘The Ball’ would be a sea of hot, buffed, single Army dudes was quickly shattered, ok I did not expect that but a girl can dream. However, to my surprise the table beside us had only men. One of these men happened to be quite handsome and without a wedding ring, dare a girl think her dreams can come true? He smiled at me, and stole some quick glances every now and again. Then I realized I am someone’s date how will ‘Prince Charming’ know that I am available. On the way to the bathroom I run into ‘Prince Charming’ he says “Hi” as he was heading outside. I noticed his friend say something to him, they look my way and ‘Prince Charming’ looks back but his smile has faded. He does return to the Ball but is now ignoring me; I am convinced he thinks I am taken. Men obviously have no clue about reading body language or he would have seen that there was nothing romantic going on between me and my date.

It is now after midnight and we are leaving ‘The Ball’, I take one last look at ‘Prince Charming’ feeling a little sad that again I may have missed an opportunity. I am tired of always wondering 'What If' so I tell my friend to hell with it I am going to give him my number. I wrote my number on a piece of paper, took a deep breath and walked up to ‘Prince Charming’ I told him I was not taken, in which he said that he thought that I was that is why he backed off. He seemed very happy to take my number, and told me he thought there was a connection. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, then like Cinderella I ran off into the night.

Will ‘Prince Charming’ call? I believe he will, do you?

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

The power of the mattress?

Now I know people do crazy things to find love, and although I don’t consider myself clinical I am open to ideas. When my friend recommended that I write down all the qualities I want in my partner and place the note under my mattress I was game. I don’t know what you’re thinking but when I heard the note should be placed under my mattress, I was like “is some kind of osmosis supposed to take place?” Either way I did as I was told because it seemed reasonable at the time.

As we get older, we assume we know what qualities we’re looking for in the person we are going to be with. I always said I know the things I don’t want (not that all my experiences were bad, but I think it’s just easier identifying the things that you don’t like) but until this exercise I’m not exactly sure I knew what I wanted. Writing things down definitely helped me clearly see what qualities I find important in someone.

That note had been under my mattress for over a year and a half and in that time I did have an 8 month relationship which ended 7 months ago. Did my boyfriend have all the qualities I wrote down? No. Was my dating experience with him worth it? Yes. Do I think the note had anything to do with anything? No.

This weekend I was cleaning up my apartment and remembered the note under my mattress. The more I thought about the note the more it seemed odd that an intelligent, mature, reasonable women would need some ‘osmosis’ to work in getting the man of my dreams. Whatever came over me at that moment I decided the note needed to be removed and subsequently recycled.

You’re probably thinking did it really matter either way if the note stayed under the mattress or if it was removed? I don’t have a good explanation for you but what I do know is that later that day I went grocery shopping and the men, 3 to be exact, were coming out of nowhere to compliment and/or talk to me. Of course this could just be coincidence which is completely reasonable. But I’m not that reasonable I’m thinking that although I didn’t think about the note maybe somehow ‘osmosis’ was working but instead of it giving me the man of my dreams it was excluding men from my life because they weren’t meeting all the requirements in my note (the note was 4 pages front and back, thorough is an understatement).

Yes I know that you’re now questioning my sanity but I’m feeling a lot better that my options are open once again. It’s great to write down your wants and needs from a partner but most of the time what we say we want and what we get are quite different and that’s not a bad thing. Also isn’t getting to know someone part of the fun of dating, if everyone got exactly what they wanted wouldn’t it be a bit boring (or maybe that’s my Gemini self talking).

Queen B

Say Goodbye to Single Gal…

Say Goodbye to Single Gal…Okay before you get too excited ‘No” I have not found anyone YET! I am saying goodbye to my Single Gal pen name. I have been thinking I do not want to be labeled or branded a Single Gal. I believe I am sending out the connotation that I want to be single, that I am a Single Gal by choice. I do not want to be forever single, and I will meet my perfect match some day, so I am changing my label to “Hopeful in TO”.

We would also like to welcome ‘Queen B’ to the team. She will be sharing her insights and wisdom on surviving in the dating jungle.

Cheers!
Hopeful in TO

Hangover-free Booze...

Ladies it looks like there may be some salvation for those of us that make-out with random dudes when drunk, send drunken text messages or have blackouts and wake with a drunk, tattooed Rock Star wanna be in our beds.

(hmm this is bad why?)

There has been a study published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research the results of this study showed that dissolved oxygen concentrations in alcoholic drinks can accelerate the metabolism and elimination of alcohol. What this means Ladies is that we can drink like a man!!! One reason men have a higher alcohol tolerance than women is because they metabolize alcohol faster, it is leaving their system faster, having less time to stay in the body mean it takes longer to get to the drunk texting stage.

They say that the casino’s in Vegas pump oxygen into the air, so we can stay up longer to gamble and drink. If you’ve been to Vegas you know this is true, one New Year’s Eve in Vegas I was awake for 30 hours and had been drinking for about 15 of those hours. Never did I feel out of control, and I remember everything. I did however make-out with one Smokin Hot kick boxer, but alcohol had nothing to do with that, as they say “When in Vegas”…

I don’t know whether we will be seeing Oxygenated drinks anytime soon, so if you want the hangover-free experience I recommend taking a trip to Vegas and if you’re lucky you too will get to make-out with a Smokin Hot Kick Boxer!!

Cheers!
Single Gal