Dating with Aspergers Syndrome

Dear Single Gals,

I have msn, facebook and yahoo. I have been on a few dating websites and I have received nothing and I do have aspergers syndrome and I think that may be why I have been single for that long what do you sexy girls think?

Andrew, England

Dear Andrew,

First, I have to say that it doesn't matter whether you have a disorder or not...I've been single for 5.5 years and Single Gal has been single for 3 but we're still optimistic! I mean look at Heather Mills...one leg and she married a Beatle!! (I had to use that example cause you’re from the UK). Remember that no matter what, there is always something that appeals to another, so you can't discredit yourself.

Second, I don’t know much about Aspergers syndrome or Austism, but have you ever considered dating anyone with the same disorder as you? I would think that it would definitely be less threatening knowing that other person is in the same boat.

I searched the web and there seems to be some social networking sites out there for people with similar disorders (and the girls are cute too!) – one I found was http://www.weareautism.org/. If you just type in Autism and dating…many things come up. There are also many charity sites for Autism/Aspergers that require volunteers and hold events, this may be an option to get out there and meet people.

Here are a couple links and books that may be of interest to you:

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=10

http://ezinearticles.com/?Aspergers-and-Autism-Dating-Sites---Chat-Can-Easily-Get-You-Started-in-Finding-Your-Date&id=1544344

Autistic Guide to Dating - by Emelia Murry Ramey and Jody John Ramey

Aspergers in Love – by Maxine C. Aston


Good luck Andrew!

Single Chick

Merry Christmas Ladies!!!

Still Single...

Dear Single Gals,

I have been single for six years can anyone help?

Andrew

Well Andrew that is a very good question. We'd probably need a little more information on you to answer this question properly, but here are a couple of suggestions anyways:

- Are you putting yourself out there? Or are you sitting in your house thinking the woman of your dreams is going to fall on your lap? Me and Single Gal both know, this will never happen. So for 2010, we have decided to get out of our comfort zone and try some random things like going to a pub to have a drink by ourselves or by playing softball in the Spring (even though we both suck).

- Do you ever get involved in Single events? There are many here in Toronto like sporting events, ski trips, speed dating etc. They must have these in England too. Try Googling “Single events London”…or wherever you are.

- What about online dating? This seems to be the way of the future as most people now are very busy and tend to set their lives up first and then try and fit someone in. The online thing can help with that, especially the EHarmony type websites that really nails down the type of person you are and the type of person you are looking for.

- Do people know you are single? Spread the word and you may get some blind dates out of it.

- Are you aggressive enough? If you see a girl who interests you, do you approach her? Here in Toronto, from our experience, men rarely approach girls and many of us really wish they would. Whether it’s at a pub, grocery store, gym or restaurant, get up the nerve and start a conversation, what’s the worse that could happen?

Take what you like from this and report back with an update, we’d love to hear about it!

Good luck,
Single Chick

George asked me to pass this on

Yes I am on a first name basis with George. He had asked me to post this message for the the Single Gals out there...Thanks George!

Single Gal's New Years Resolution…

Not sure how everyone else feels but we at the Single Gals camp are actually very happy the 2009 is coming to an end. Like every other year there were really great moments, like our trips to Italy & Paris and the not so great; the loss of our dogs Shmoo and Nash.



The other day over Pizza and beers we decided we are going to make 2010 ‘OUR YEAR”, we are going to put this year behind us. 2010 is the year to get out of our comfort zone, to pursue our passions with gusto and to fast track our dating lives (no, not through Lava Life).

So to get out of my comfort zone I have decided I am going to try the following 3 things:

1) Talk to my gym crush, I don’t care what ‘The Rules’ say I’m breaking that one. You can’t seriously tell me that just because I say ‘Hi’ to a guy that he will be turned off of me forever….

2) Try eHarmony for 3 months…even though an acquaintance tried eHarmony and one of her matches asked if she had big boobs and blonde hair…WTF?...(ok I may have rethink this one)

3) Do the opposite of everything I would normally do. I would normally drink beer with my nachos so now I am going to drink Vodka! I think that’s what ‘The Rules’ meant by that rule.

I’ll let you know how it goes, and if I get asked if I have blonde hair and big boobs I’ll just reply…sure if you have fat wallet and a big dick!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Looking for love in all the wrong places...

Recently I have been hit with this crazy feeling of loneliness. I blame my parents for this, I am lucky to have two of the cutest parents anyone can ask for and as a family unit we are all very close. Well my folks have decided to move to the east coast leaving me with this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. My brothers and friends are still here and I not even sure why my parents leaving has hit me so hard, I can still talk to them and they will be visiting us again in 3 months. This strange reaction to their leaving has prompted me to fast track my dating life, how does one do that? According to my friends we have no choice but to try the online thing. I may have said this before but I am really against this whole internet dating age. I find it impersonal and I just feel like a product on the shelf hoping someone will pick me. Also, online dating makes you sit there looking to see if anyone is going to view your profile and if they will make any sort of contact and if they don’t you’re left thinking ‘Hey what’s wrong with me?!” So with all this going against me, I decided in my moment of loneliness to set up a Lava Life account. Well for those of you that have never tried the online thing, setting up the account was rather painless. You just have to fill out some info about yourself, upload a picture if you want and then you are all set to cyber shop for men, sounds good doesn’t it! What they do not tell you on Lava Life is that when you set up a profile, this profile shows up in ‘ALL” profile areas. All profile areas means it is in dating, relationship and INTIMATE!!! Whoa what that hell is Intimate? Unbeknownst to me my profile was in all 3 areas. I am fine with dating and relationship but draw the line at intimate. After I set my account up I got 5 instant messages from interested lava life profiles. I thought wow my pic must look really good, and it got me feeling a little big headed. I decide since I am going to do this online thing I may as well look at the profiles of the men contacting me. The first one’s interests I took a look at included bondage, French kissing and anything goes (WHAT?!) well he was obviously not for me. So on to the next one. His interests include rough sex and role playing (WHAT?!). I am now totally mortified and wondering what is it about my profile that is attracting these men? Do I look like I want to have rough sex while dressed up as Snow White!? After going through 3 other similar profiles I finally saw that they were coming from the intimate section and realized my profile was in there. It took me about an hour to figure this all out and I have now deleted myself from Lava Life!!



Cheers!
Single Gal

The Home Depot Experience

This past weekend my folks came into Toronto. They call me up and ask me to meet them for lunch, so I ask where and my Dad say “at Home Depot of course!” Off I go to meet my parents at Home Depot for my first lesson on ‘How to find a good man in the lumber section”.

After greeting my folks we head into the store, first we walk around the whole place under the guise that my dad is looking for something to buy with his $50 gift certificate. While perusing the endless isles of home improvement supplies my dad spots and man carrying a white bucket, than tells me to chase him because he has a bucket of drywall glue so he is probably a Dry Waller. That was lesson number one; check out what supplies they are buying to determine what trade they may be in. Next my mom pipes in “you have to see who he is with, if he has kids a wife is probably close by, look for the ones that are alone”. As she is saying this see spots a cutie getting help from a sales rep and yells “Look at him now he’s cute!” YES this is what my single life has come to cruising the isle of Home Depot with my folks lookin for love. Next we head off to the lumber section but alas it was empty, than my Dad realized this is the wrong season for Carpenters it’s to cold and told me to check back in the spring.

According to my Dad if you spot a potential dating candidate, you must ask his advice and if he is willing to help you out than you know he is a nice guy. If he gets irritated or ignores you, than you know to not waste your time. Makes sense doesn’t it? So now we narrowed it down to he’s a nice guy, but what do we do next Dad?



Cheers!
Single Gal

Men my brother thinks I should date...

As you may have noticed my Single status is a common topic at the family gatherings. My bother tells me he thinks about who would be a good match for me and has narrowed it down to three men:

1) George Stroumboulopoulos of ‘The Hour” He thinks George is smart, funny and would be great to talk to a family dinners.



2) Mike Rowe of ‘Dirty Jobs’ on the discovery channel, once again my brother thinks he is smart and funny and is a very cool dude because he is willing to do any job no matter how dirty.


3) Keifer Sutherland I think we all know who that is, my brother is convinced that he is my soul mate. How he came to this deduction was from watching a documentary called “I Trust you to Kill me” and Keifer is very much himself, he gets drunk tackles a tree and loses his phone. Hmmm not sure how I feel about him thinking that’s my soul mate, but I admit I like Keifer all the more because of those things.

So there you have it the perfect men for me! However when I mention the top 3 men I think I should date, Leo DeCaprio, Johnny Depp and Jon Bon Jovi he tells me don’t be ridiculous, keep it real!!! UH!?

Cheers!
Single Gal

Dating advice from my dad…

I have always said there is no other man quite like my dad. He is the last of a dying breed. This past Sunday I was having dinner with my family when my Dad decided to give me dating advice, on how to find a man like him. He was telling me that we Single Gals are doing it all wrong. Forget about meeting a good man at the bar, the gym or the grocery store! According to my dad we should be hanging out a Home Depot and Rona.

Okay now ladies before you run off to scour the isles of Home Depot, there is more to it than that. You must hang out in the lumber section (my dad’s favorite section) here you will find the contract workers. However you must become lumber savvy because according to my dad we do not want the guy picking up the pine that is on sale, we want the man in the cedar section. First, because he knows what he is doing and second, because that means he is a high quality contractor and he probably has a lot of work.

Now as we were discussing how to tell what wood is best and if the guy knows what he is doing, I forgot to ask how we are suppose to get the attention of this “High Quality Contractor”. I’m not sure getting all dolled up and hanging around piles of wood will really serve our cause but hell, we could do worse so why stop there?! See you all in the Lumber section!!!!

Cheers!
Single Gal

The Rules

I started reading this book called The Rules - time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right. If you’re thinking ‘What the Hell?!”…trust me I thought the same thing. I can honestly say this book gets under my skin. I thought being genuine, upfront and honest was always the best way to act and now some book is telling me that’s all wrong? According to “the rules”, you have to play “the game”. “What game?” you ask. This book describes “the game” as the chasing game. You have to be and look so unattainable that the man you really want can think of nothing else but how to attain you. Here are some examples of what “The Rules” say a girl should do.

We have all cancelled plans with our friends because we got ask out on a date, of course our friends always understand. But by being available for this last minute date is also telling this potential ‘boyfriend’ that you are always available for him. This translates into man speak as “What’s the fun in that? There is no chase” and then you never hear from him again. So what a “Rules” girl would do is tell him they’re busy and then let him ask you out again. The writers of “The Rules” guarantee that he will call and ask again.

The book also suggests that you never leave the house without make-up. They say to put lipstick on even if you go for a jog. I have a huge problem with this tip since I never wear make-up. I figure my “Mr. Right” would appreciate me just as I am. Apparently in time he will appreciate me, but to get him, I have to play the game and put my best face forward at all times. Since I’ve been single for 3 years, maybe my natural approach really is not working and I just need to put on a little lipstick....how hard can that be? I’m going to buy some make-up and give this a try. I’ll update you all on my progress.

In the meantime ladies here are some examples of the “Rules” we should be following:

1) Be a ‘creature unlike any other’ (not sure what it means, but it definitely sounds intriguing!)
2) Don’t talk to a man first (this includes small talk in any form)
3) Don’t stare at a man or talk too much
4) Don’t meet him halfway or go dutch on a date
5) Don’t call him & rarely return his calls
6) Always end the conversation first
7) Don’t accept a Saturday night date after a Wednesday date
8) Fill up your time before the date
9) Always end the date first
10) No more than casual kissing on the first date

Basically if you are single and have been for a while, obviously what you are doing is not working for you and now it is time to do the opposite.

For all you ladies that live in Toronto, tread lightly with these rules because our men are not like other Canadian men or the bold, self assured American man. No, from what we have dated Toronto men are a little different. If we play too hard and fast by these rules, they will most likely sulk rather than chase. This is because they are used to having everything handed to them and chasing or going after what they want is quite a foreign and scary idea. Good luck to us all, as not only do we need to master the rules but we need to find a date first in order to practice those rules, where is the book on that!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Happiness

I can across this quote today, and thought I'd share it!

'A feeling that greater possessions,no matter of what kind they may be, will of themselves bring contentment or happiness, is a misunderstanding. No person, place, or thing can give you happiness. They may give you a cause for happiness and a feeling of contentment, but the Joy of Living comes from within." Genevieve Behrand (1881-1960)

2009 Sexiest Man Alive is....

Hey Ladies,

People Magazine has announced the 2009 Sexiest Man Alive and this year goes to one of our absolute Faves...Mr. Johnny Depp



Yummo!!!!

Cheers!
Single Gal

My Journey

On the weekend of Oct 16 – 18 2009 I had the pleasure of attending PHAT (Power, Hard work, Attitude and Triumph) Camp hosted by Jen Hendershott - Ms. Fitness International 2009. I have attended PHAT Camp for 3 years now. It always amazes me that every year the experience is so different and I learn a little more about myself and the great things I can accomplish. This year was extra special for me because I got to introduce my new love to my fellow campers and that love is Cookin Greens. I think Cookin Greens is the best thing since sliced bread and so do my fellow PHAT Campers here are some their comments:

Rose said “This is frozen kale? I made fresh kale last night and this tastes exactly the same!”

Janice said “I went home and ate a whole bag of kale it was so good”.

Here is Jen Hendershott enjoying her Greens and Jen say “MMMMMMMMM Good”.



The Phat Camp Ladies love Cookin Greens:



To all the girls out there who think they CAN’T do something, take that word out of you vocabulary NOW. Three years ago I was sitting in a parking lot, full of anxiety about attending my first Phat Camp. I felt I didn’t belong, wouldn’t make friends and that everyone would question why I was there. I sat in my car for over 30 minutes berating myself. I finally got the courage to get out of my car. Thankfully I did as that was my first step on my new journey to better health, better beliefs and finding my passion. Here I am now, 3 years later, pursuing an education in Holistic Nutrition, promoting a product that I believe in and speaking in public (and being told I’m a natural at it!). I couldn’t see this point in my life back then, but I now believe that if you follow your heart it will always lead you to great things and real happiness.

So girls get rid of those fears, test the waters and follow your heart. We all deserve to find and live our passion.

Cheers!
Single Gal

The pill has turned women into wanting pansies…I guess it’s fitting for this day and age

So I was getting my daily dose of The Toronto Star’s online newspaper (even though I hate their new format) and came across this article http://www.healthzone.ca/health/yourhealth/women'shealth/article/707513--pill-puts-women-off-macho-men-study-shows.

In short, it’s about how they did a study on how women who are on the pill are more likely to be attracted to a more feminine, boyish type of man like Zac Effron as opposed to a more macho type of man like Steve McQueen (who was freakin crazy anyways). They mention Leo DiCaprio as the more feminine type, so right there you know they don’t know what they’re talking about…anyone see The Departed and all of the hot models he dates? DAAAMN!

They go on to say that when women are not ovulating, they look for a man that will be in it for the long haul, more caring, feminine and more like them…oh, you mean a gay man? WTF is that about? They never get into what the contents in the pill are that leads to this ridiculousness. Considering it seems that half of the women who are looking for a partner are probably on the pill, is this really a fair study? And for those women that are not on the pill, were they just older studies and can’t be bothered with the whiny feminine type?

I’ve been on the pill for 13 years now and completely disagree. Even though I find Zac Effron cute and pretty, I would never date someone who makes love with the camera the way he does. I actually prefer the more macho, do-it-yourself type of guy and they seem to be few and far between. This upcoming generation of men, have been babied by mommy, so maybe it’s not because we’re on the pill, maybe it’s because our choice in the brutish man is seriously lacking.

Ciao!
Single Chick

Facebook and Dating

There are times in a Single Gals life when she realizes that it may not be so bad being single in this world of Interweb chaos. It seems more and more these days that Facebook is causing much unrest amongst couples because of comments being posted, the cyber drinks being bought and all the facebook poking. Is this a new form of cheating for couples? Is it harmless that Susie keeps poking Roger an old high school crush while she’s married to Bill? Should Bill worry? What the hell is the purpose of the poke anyway? Are you poking someone just to get their attention, is it flirting? God I hope not I have poked a few people only because I have been poked so I poked back. Wow it seems Facebook is disastrous even if you are Single because you may inadvertently be sending out some weird cyber flirt message without even knowing what you’re doing. I know once my status changes from Single to into a relationship my Facebook days are over.



Cheers!
Single Gal

I hate Facebook. I recently hooked up with an ex boyfriend via Facebook, who turned out to be a bigger douchebag than we when first dated. I’m sure there are successful Facebook hookups (just like the Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt story http://www.thestar.com/living/article/669304 ...LOL...we’ll see how this one turns out!), just like there are successful online dating hookups, but seriously, what has happened to good old fashion face to face meetings? Now you have to pay over $1000 to get some strange company to set up a face to face date (It’s Just Lunch is one example). It took me a long time to get on Facebook and by the time I did, the phenomenon had definitely cooled off for my 30 something friends (although I still know some die hards). I think Facebook can be a great thing, for school projects, groups, hooking up with old friends, memorials, viral marketing etc. but maybe we should just leave it at that. Don’t try the romance/cheating thing via Facebook, especially when your actual significant other is your “friend” and will probably (and hopefully) figure it out. And for you “wanna be” or “existing” cheaters (you know who you are), don’t leave coy little messages on his/her or your Profile page that you think only your secret lover understands (and it’s just freakin lame and immature). There’s no such thing as anonymity anymore – and people aren’t stupid, they will figure it out. Leave your cheating ways to dirty motels and copy-room lovin…in saying that, what happened to the good old days of cheating too?

Ciao!
Single Chick

Fat Free Nachos

If you’re a regular Single Gals follower you will have noticed the we love Nachos and beer. Well ladies I have found fat free nachos, what not possible you say? Oh it is possible, I ask you this do you see any fat on this Nacho?


















This is Nacho Figueras professional Polo player and model for Ralph Lauren’s Polo. This man rides a horse and hits balls..now that is hot! No only is he fat free but I think the dirty thoughts that he invokes will also burn a few calories.



Cheers!
Single Gal

2009 Summer Highlights

Ladies I am sad to say that summer is over. It’s time to pack away our cute little summer dresses and flip flops. Hopefully we can squeeze one last patio outing before we drag out the sweaters and wooly tights. This summer I had no plans, no expectation and it turned out to be a great summer. Here are some of my summer highlights:






And the OOOOOH LA LA the view at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower...



Cheers!
Single Gal

Farewell

I have some sad news hook-up gal has become a single gal once again. I have to say I was and wasn’t expecting this day to come. I know this sounds pretty bad but when you’re in a relationship there are things you can compromise on and should but there are other things that are deal breakers. As us single gals know when you go into a relationship you go in hoping for the best and unfortunately presented with circumstances that you can just not get past you end up being single once again.
I don’t particularly want to go into the details on why we broke up but I will share that circumstances involved Bromance boy & friends, my dud and illegal substances. I know that nobody is perfect and mistakes are made but when you’ve expressed concerns over behaviours that your partner has only for them to ignore you it shows a great deal of disrespect and inconsideration and these are two things I cannot and will not tolerate.
I did learn a great deal from this relationship and I’m glad for that but I also know that I didn’t wait 36 years of my life to settle for something I don’t want. I have gone through a lot of emotions over the past couple of days; sad, angry, confused, scared etc…but not once have I ever questioned my decision to leave. I know that ‘my dud’ and I are not at the same place and no matter what I did unless he wanted to be there, which he said he did, his actions spoke differently.
So single gals I sign off from my duties here and if the end of a relationship shows you anything it is that your family and friends will always be there for you with kind words, hugs, their ear and bottle of wine (or two) which helps in making the pain go away.


Cheers,
A newly single gal

Crushes Make You Stupid...

On Daisy of love this weekend London returns. Ok, London was Daisy’s favorite from day one, but he could not handle the pressure of the house so he left. He has now returned because he regrets leaving. Well once again this boy manages to mess Daisy up. She doesn’t know whether she is coming or going. She gets clumsy around him, she is nervous and basically has it real bad for this boy. Even though he broke Daisy’s heart by leaving the show she is willing to give him another chance. Why? Because he makes her week in the knees. You cannot analyze this because it’s unexplainable and Daisy herself would tell you she has no clue why this boy has such a hold on her.

I have recently had this happen to me. Upon seeing this particular man (we’ll call him “Hesus” like Jesus, but pronounced “Hesus”) for the first time I was rendered speechless and I have no idea why. It was like a shock to my system all before I even spoke to him. I cannot explain the attraction, as I think we lead very different lifestyles. Single Chick said she does not think he could handle my Rock N Roll lifestyle (which by the way is very low on the Rock N Roll lifestyle scale these days). When I’m around “Hesus” I try to speak but I swear nothing intelligent comes out, it’s as if I lost all my brains cells. I can relate to where Daisy is coming from and I feel for her because she is doing this on TV.
Thankfully I only have Single Chick to witness such uncoolness.

Now you’re probably asking yourself “What’s a girl to do when this happens?”, well in Daisy’s case she is lucky she can just pick London as her man of choice. For those of us that do not have this option hopefully you are lucky enough to have that feeling reciprocated and he will ask you out. If he has not asked you out do not get discouraged, the object of your affection may not even know you are interested in him (guys can be very clueless even when it is obvious). At this point you have to take matters into your own hands if you want to end the obsession. If you are the very brave sort and can get his number then give him a call, or send him a text if it makes it easier. If you have his e-mail ask him out for a drink, this is the option that I chose. I will be honest and say it was very hard to do. I was so nervous I re-wrote that one lined e-mail at least a 100 times. Finally as I was staring at the send button I get an e-mail from Single Chick and all it said was “Just Do It!!!” that’s when I hit send. After sending that e-mail I can honestly say I felt better, kind of good actually…fearless…like I could conquer anything in this jungle of dating disasters!

I didn’t get a response until 2 weeks later. His response was very nice, he said sorry for not responding sooner but that he was currently seeing someone. I feel relieved and can now put this crush to rest. I also believe it’s not that big of a deal ask someone out for a drink if you’re interested, even if it doesn’t go the way you want it to. It is better to try then to never have taken the chance because one day that chance will pay off.

By the way I agree with Daisy, there is just something about London I really don't blame her.



Cheers!
Single Gal

Your Boyfriends Bromance....

I have a theory that maybe there are more single gals out there because the men that are supposed to be with them are in a Bromance instead. I know you’re saying to yourself but Hook-up Gal you’re in a relationship and that is true but I have to tell you that my boyfriend is cheating on me and no it’s not with another women it’s with an overly emotional male friend. I’m not even sure if my predicament is common place but it is a situation I have had to deal with and I have to tell you it took some adjusting to.

When you start dating someone some insecurities you have may come up and mostly they involve other single gals, but from my experience I wouldn’t worry about the single gals as much as I would worry about your boyfriend’s buddy. This is an odd scenario and one I haven’t ever experienced so to me it was all new, I had always been friendly with my boyfriend’s friends and didn’t think I would have any issues with “My Stud’s” friends but was I wrong...because along came “Girly Man”...

“Girly Man” is a guy who has so many insecurities that having his friend in a healthy, happy relationship is threatening to him and what better way to remove the threat than to be as obnoxious and rude as possible. In my case ‘Girly Man” used my insecurities to his full advantage. Now I’m a strong girl but there are things I don’t need or want to know about my boyfriend’s past, this may just be me but unless it has any bearing on my present relationship why bother. Well I guess “Girly Man” felt differently because when I started dating “My Stud” he was all the more happy to tell me the not so great stories about “My Stud’s” past.

I remember one night in particular where I was at my wits end and was ready to explode and when “Girly Man” and his g/f left I just freaked on
“My Stud”. Now I’m not saying I’m proud of how I reacted but my reaction was because I didn’t understand how ‘My Stud” could be so okay with what “Girly Man” was saying and especially to me. What I realized after I had calmed down is that ‘My Stud” has known this guy since his teens. “Girly Man” and “My Stub” have been through a lot together and they have a bromance that to ‘My Stud” what ‘Girly Man” said just rolled off of him like it was nothing. To me it was the opposite, I wanted “My Stud” to defend himself, defend me, make me feel secure, but really that isn’t “My Stud’s” problem it was mine. What I needed to understand is that the only reason “Girly Man” was getting to me was because I was letting him get to me. “Girly Man” was telling stories for shock value and to get a rise out of me. What I needed to do was take control of the situation and not let him get the best of me. So I did just that and things have changed for the better.

So single gals if you have any issues with your boyfriend’s friends try to work through them and try to get to the real reason as to why you’re having problems with them. Once you do you’ll be happier for it....and if you aren’t work on mastering the evil eye because that works too ;)

Cheers!

Hook-Up Gal

The Uro Club....A Discrete Sanitary Solution???

Recently I saw this ad:



Boys, boys, boys do you really need this ridiculous device. Isn’t one of the joys of having a penis is you ability to pee anywhere? Why would you go through all the hassle of sticking your penis in this tube to hide the fact that your are peeing. Plus how are going to explain the apron?

This product should come with a warning, “Do not use when drunk because chances are this is the only time that you will try this”. You know you’re gonna miss the hole and end up pissing all over yourself. So genius just pee like a man, head to a bush, turn away from the course and let her rip.

Cheers!
Single Gal

To Move or Not to Move?

I am new to the whole serious relationship concept and I understand fully that as you get older things generally move faster. Now I’m not talking sex, bondage or other fantasies you may or may not have so get your mind out of the gutter. What I am referring to is the general idea that if you both have your own places chances are that as your relationship progresses you will cohabitate whether you’ve formally talked about things or not.
Now “my stud” is a relationship person I’m a bit of a commitment phobe (I believe this has more to do with past relationships being somewhat shady to my actually not being able to commit). Anyway we have yet to formally discuss living arrangements but over time I have noticed that space was made for me in the closet, the bathroom etc...As well 4 or so months back there was a formal dinner with “my stud” handing over a copy of his keys to me. This was a very sweet gesture and although it seemed natural given I was over there all the time, it came as a bit of a shock to me (the keys not the sweet gesture).
Months have passed since I was given a copy of his keys and I am not in denial that we are pretty much living together but the fact of the matter is that we are not. My stud has his place (yes I still do refer to it as his place, I’m not paying rent so it isn’t ours) and I still have my place. A lot of people (friends, family etc…) are telling me to get over my issues and move in already. They come up with comments such as “You can save on rent.”, “What are you afraid of, you guys are together all the time anyways” etc… My feeling is that it is too soon, we are still new to this relationship and yes things are great but what if they change? I know that eventually a formal step will need to be made but I want to make that decision myself and when I feel right about it. I know I care for “my stud” and I know it makes sense but I also know that I need to do things at my own pace (obviously with the understanding and support of “my stud”). So whether it’s moving in together, sleeping together etc…do so at your own pace because only you truly know what is best for you (and don’t you forget that).




Cheers,
Hook-up Gal

The Big Boy??????

“Are you man enough?” this is the slogan for The Big Boy bulge enhancer. I’m thinking they should change it to “So you’re not man enough?” Yes ladies there is such a thing as the bulge enhancer. They advertise this as the man’s answer to the padded bra. Now boys, yes some of us gals wear padded bras, but it is usually the last thing to come off. Once it does we shove “The Girls” in your face. This confuses you and you forget that we started off as a C cup rather than a B. If you ever do use ‘The Big Boy’, remember that once the pants come off your secret is revealed. You do not have the same luxury of just shoving it in our faces because we are not that easily confused. Also, walking around with a perma bulge is not that attractive to us gals…it is so ‘82. Chances are we will just write you off as a perv. So if you are thinking of purchasing ‘The Big Boy’ save your money and use a pair of socks.

Cheers!
Single Gal

Welcome to the Jungle

There seems to be a common concern among women about how they smell or taste down there. Unless you have a serious medical condition there is no need to stress over this too much. A simple rule to remember is that “You are what you eat”. So, if you love garlic (good for you because it has great nutritional benefits), it will come out your pores and all other sweaty orifices. Unless your man is a ‘Greek God’ he may not be so impressed with the taste of recycled garlic. So how can you enjoy the more pungent spices of life and still taste fruity fresh. Obviously eat lots of sweet fruits and drink pineapple juice or 5 Alive. This will guarantee that your man will be back to visit the Juicy Fruit Jungle!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Daisy of Love

I have recently become obsessed with Daisy of Love. It is so messed up and surreal. Daisy is a former Rock of Love contender and was a finalist vying for Brett Michaels love. Alas, Brett chose Amber and left Daisy broken hearted. Daisy is now over Brett and lookin for love. At first I thought she was too dumb to function, but her overly bleached blonde hair, restylane injected lips and silicone boobs kind of grow on you. She is cute in a pug sort of way.

Oddly enough the dudes that are fighting for Daisy’s love are strangely appealing. It is a mixed bag of nuts. You have these big muscle bound beasts that could lift you up and have you against the wall before you knew what hit you (HOT!). There’s also the tormented musician, he is broke, living on someone’s sofa and struggling to get by. Then you have the overly tattooed, pierced, dysfunctional dudes and yet they are all very sexy.

There I was thinking that Daisy had issues, yet I am the one who is watching and trying to decide who I would pick. Would it be Flex, with his bulging biceps and killer abs? Would it be Cage, the tattooed fighter with the abusive father and alcoholic mother? Or would it be London, the homeless musician without a guitar? What is so appealing about guys who don’t have their shit together, that are angry and sensitive all at the same time? Is it because we think we can save them that we are attracted to them? If we did save them would we still want them? Or at the end of the day maybe we women are not that different from men. Breasts make some men stupid and if you show us a bulging pair of biceps, then all sense and reason goes out the window.



Cheers!
Single Gal

Why do smart women do stupid things?

There are first times in all relationships and the one I’m going to write about isn’t a pleasant one. Now being in my mid-30’s you would think it would be a thing of the past, well I’m sorry to say it’s not. What am I talking about? It’s the dreaded thing I call thinking you are a rock star and indestructible only to find out you’re just delusional (aka puking your brains out after a night out).
I hate puking; I think I would rather have sticks jabbed into my eye than to puke. This is a bit dramatic but you get my point. When you’re single and you puke you feel like shit but at least you don’t have an audience watching you (some people may like this but me not so much). When you’re a couple your boyfriend being the gentleman he should be, is helping to hold your hair back, getting you water, getting you aspirin, putting you to bed etc….This is really great and truly appreciated, but having a guy especially early on in a relationship seeing you at what is most likely your worst is awkward to say the least.
I remember the first time “my stud” saw me puke (yes I have puked more than once, seriously I have stomach issues and no I’m not bulimic, see start of 2nd paragraph). We were out with his friends at a show and I was drinking but didn’t actually think I was drinking that much. Well that changed quickly because the next thing I knew I was like - “stud” take me home, like take me home now.” After that point I blacked out but the parts I do remember included “my stud” carrying me so that I wouldn’t fall, stopping to let me puke some more, and telling passerby’s that I would be okay. I don’t remember a lot but what I do remember thinking is that I have a great boyfriend and that death has to be easier than this.
After recovering the next day I had a conversation with “my stud” about the happenings from the night before and I have to tell you that even after seeing me at my worst (or what I hope is my worst) he still had the look that I was special. So you’re wondering what my point is aside from not partying like a rock star, which you are not. Well it’s to remember that even at your worst the person you are with should still look at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, because single gals you are.





Cheers!
Hook-up Gal

There is Life after French Fries….

Just thought I’d let everyone know what’s be going on since I dumped the sinfully delicious French Fry. First off, it was by no means an easy task. I turned away from my McCain’s crinkle cut fries as I dumped them in the trash, as I could not let them see me cry. Than I sat and reminisced about all our times together, like the first time I had poutine and knew it was love at first bite. Then when I wanted to have a little Texas style fun I would get Chili Fries and bring out my inner Cowgirl. Giddy Up!! So many fond memories with so many years together.

At first I felt a little naked out there without my French Fry crutch what was I to do if I felt sad or had a bad day, there were no fries at home to run to. Do I look different now? Am I acting different? I am not really sure but things have definitely changed. My first sign of things a’ changin was when “The Cave Man” smiled at me after one year of seeing each other on our travels to work. After that, I ran into a coffee shop regular, who gave me the once over for the first time. Lastly the cutie in my building said “Hi. Is there a sign on my forehead now that says “I’m available”? Was I really giving off the “I’m taken” vibes before? Or do guys really prefer brunettes? I’ve been a blonde forever and recently thanks to Ms. Hair 2009 (my hairdresser fondly known as Gaboo), I have become one very “Hot” brunette according to “Crazy Eyes”, my neighborhood homeless guy and my #1 fan. Or is it the combination of the new hair confidence and the 5 pound French Fry weight loss? I guess one will never really know. Hopefully this new trend is a regular thing, and once in a while I can have a casual fling with my beloved French Fry.


Cheers!
Single Gal

If you like to contact Gaboo about a hair appointment her e-mail address is. gaboostyles@live.ca. You’ll get salon quality without the salon prices!

Are we a monogamous?

Dear Single gals,

Do you really think that mankind is a monogamous species?

Questionable


Dear Questionable,

I would have to say No to this question. Very few animals are monogamous and we are not the exception. We are a species that adapts to our environment and a monogamous environment is what has been created for us and has been engraved in our subconscious for thousands of years. Can you imaging if we had evolved without the concept of monogamy? If there had never been such a thing as marriage or "life" partners? Families would still exist as we do crave human contact that isn't always sexual, but it would be more like a pack type mentality. We would probably live in social groups where we would be promiscuous with many different people...something like the Chimpanzee. In most species, males are programmed to spread their seed and females are programmed to get the best seed and to that I say...there's nothing wrong with wanting the best!.

Cheers!
Single Chick

Meet the Faulkers

Unlike the Single Gals I am a Gal in a relationship. My relationship is fairly new (just over 8 months) and I have to tell you not being a “relationship person” there are things I have needed to adjust to. Don’t get me wrong I have a great boyfriend (let’s call him 'My Stud') and I’m extremely happy to be in what I believe is a healthy relationship but I sometimes wonder how girls and guys co-exist. I say this because guys and girls think very differently. For example a couple of weeks ago "My Stud" asks me if I want to spend the weekend at his parent’s cottage. This wouldn’t be an issue but I have never met his parents and normally when meeting someone’s parents you have a meal and are able to leave when the night is through, a weekend is a whole different affair.

Weird things were going through my head stuff like; What has "My Stud" told them about me? Do they know I’m not white (I’m South African Indian heritage, "My Stud" is pure anglo Cdn)? What do I wear to make a good impression and let them know that I’m not some floozy? What if we don’t get along, what do I do then? Will we be sleeping in the same room and how do I make this not an uncomfortable situation? What if they start discussing politics or religion do I voice my true feelings or keep my mouth shut? What if his mother thinks I’m not good enough for her one and only son?

Now I’ve met many a parent and haven’t had any issues with them but I haven’t met someone’s parents in a while (we’re talking years) and was concerned (and rightfully so). When I expressed my concerns to "My Stud", he was so nonchalant about things and just said to me that I’d be meeting them anyway so what’s the big deal (referring to my concern over it being a weekend and not just an evening). See we are from different planets, to him it was status quo to me it was a whole analytical process of every action, word and move I would make on that weekend with the parents. So needless to say the weekend went off without a hitch and my analyzing things didn’t impact on things in the least. So my advice to you single gals is go with it, don’t worry about meeting the parents, just remember to be yourself and enjoy the dinner, weekend or night with his folks. If you’re the fantastic person I know you are they will love you and if not then do what you have to do to get through things unscathed (tequila shots perhaps?).

Cheers!
Hook-Up Gal

What’s your love substitute?

What’s a love substitute? You ask. It’s not your favorite battery operated toy or a one night stand or your pet dog. It’s the comfort food you crave when you’re lonely, depressed and even when you’re happy. For a Single Gal it is your substitute for a loving relationship. Apparently my love substitute is French fries. I do love them especially smothered in cheese and gravy..mmmmmmm Good!!! According to my Psychology of Disease teacher I am single because I have closed myself off from a human relationship. In my mind I am already in a committed relationship with French fries. Well before you say “WTF??” think about it ladies it is a great relationship. I can have them when I want, throw them out when I’ve had enough and I have wide variety to choose from (curly, wedged, crinkle). Now you are probably wondering “how does a girl ever get over such a relationship?”, well I just have to tell myself that I no longer need French fries for love, they no longer have a hold on me, so basically I dumped the fries. Sorry Mister freshly cut potato with your suit of gravy and cheese, you are out of here!!! We had a great time together and you will no longer be able to go straight to my thighs because that is the job of a real man! As per my teacher, a new love is coming along, no it’s not chocolate chip cookies it’s a MAN!!! I wonder if he will ask “Would you like fries with that?” or better yet he won’t need to ask he will come with a plate of fries!!

Cheers!
Single Gal

The Cougar - MEOW!

What is a Cougar exactly? The Urban Dictionary defines a Cougar as the following:

“An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.”

“A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. ‘Man’ is cougar's number one prey”

I find this term a little ridiculous but funny although some of my girlfriends get down right offended by it. It is ridiculous because women are getting labeled for dating younger men when men have been dating young girls for centuries and never have been labeled with a name? I think it actually looks more ridiculous seeing an older man with a significantly younger girl. Usually the first thought is “he must be loaded”, then it’s “she must have “daddy issues”” and lastly “he is obviously going through a midlife crises”.

An older woman with a younger man is usually 95% about the sex. Hell, if a Cougar is a woman in her late 30’s – early 40’s then she is most likely at her sexual peek. And since most dudes at that age have “let them self go”, the Cougar needs to seek out or “hunt” the younger fitter models that keep up with them. Chances are also good that at this age they have worked out all of their issues, have no baggage and do not want a man who is weighed down by an obsessive ex-wife, insecurities and financial issues.

So ladies, if you fall into the societal ‘Cougar’ label, I say embrace it! It is just a term coined by some bitter old man, who could not get a hot woman his age because of his beer belly, comb over and anger issues. And to the younger girls out there that also like to label …don’t be upset because 'Cougars' are stealing all your potential dates…when they're done you can have them back.

At the Single Gals Camp we say do what you want, date whom you want, live how you want and don’t judge!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Wondering Eye Balls

Dear Single Gals,

Is there a potion to stop wandering eyeballs?

I’m Over Here


Dear I’m Over Here,

Yes there is one sure way to stop wandering eyeballs. Stick a fork in them that will stop the self absorbed ass. Ok maybe that is a little harsh. First tell him you don’t like that he is looking at other women, and if he can’t respect that use the fork! Then dump him. If he is too busy looking for his next conquest while he’s with you, chances are good he does this all the time and his behavior will only leave you feeling insecure and hurt.

All the best, lets hope he just has A.D.D.

Cheers!
Single Gals

The Scratcher

Dear Single Gals,

How do you get them to stop scratching their "friends" in public?

Must They


Dear Must They,

Well I think if this is a reoccurring thing, that maybe he just needs to shower more often. However if he will not practice proper hygiene I think you should stand beside him and start scratching yourself down there to mimic him. Chances are that he’ll find your behavior embarrassing and ask what you’re doing. In which you can reply “doesn’t that turn you on?” Then when he says “No” you respond “Exactly!” If he does not get the hint, then jab a fork in his hand the next time he scratches and that should end it for good!

Cheers!
Single Gals

What Men Really Want

Dear Single Gals,

What do men really want?

Who Cares


Dear Who Cares,

This is simple, if they’re straight they want Vaginia and if they’re gay than they want Dick!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Did you seriously just say that?

Here are a few of the odd things guys have said to me, over the years.

“Hey it our Monthiversery” – Written via e-mail 1 month after our first and only date

“I could not stop starring at you, I was attracted in the most primal of ways” – Told to me after I said I was not interested.. ewe

“You know I still love you even though you need to lose 20 pounds, that’s how much I love you” Yes I was hideous at 5’9’ 138 pounds

“I’m not interested in a relationship at this time” Sent via text message after 2 months of dating. No worries ladies I responded “Very manly of you to text that!” he stills calls me to this day

“Mmmmmmmm I could eat you” Said the Vegetarian after our date – Ewe

This Guy gets the Single Gals best line of the year award….

“Are you looking for long term or short term?”- This was said to my friend who replied “I’m married with a kid” in which he reply’s “Short term than?”

Now I know we are all guilty of not thinking before we speak and lords know I have said a few dumb things in my life time. Here are a couple Single Gal not so smooth moments.

“Hey someone left their purse behind” Said to a date, as it turns out it was his man purse. Hey in my world men don’t carry purses.

“That’s a good place to meet men” Said to my boss, about her volunteering at a men’s shelter

Cheers!
Single Gal

Drinking on the first date

So you finally got asked out by the hottie that you’ve been eyeballing for months. You’re nervous, anxious and getting all kinds of advice from the hen house on what to wear, say and how to behave. This is a recipe for a dating disaster; especially if you’re meeting up for drinks - you may over do it. Here are 3 simple rules that we Single Gals should live by:

1) Have a drink; if you do drink occasionally it will calm your nerves.

2) We recommend 3 drink’s tops!!!! Yes we need a cut off limit. If your limit is 2 than stop at two. Know your limit and drink within it.

3) Drink your usual drink of choice. If you are a beer drinker do not decide that Date Night is the night to start drinking Martinis because you think it will make you look sophisticated. What will end up happening is you will have the 3 drink maximum and for you Ms. Coors Light, that is the equivalent of 9-10 beers. Unless you want to be a potential love interest for Brett Michaels Rock of Love, stick to what you know. Really do we need more ladies our there that behave like this:
VH1 Rock of Love 2 Viral Clip 1


Now go on your date and remember to relax. He asked you because he obviously likes you, so don’t worry about trying too hard to impress him. Have a good time and be your awesome self and a second date will follow.

Cheers!
Single Gal

Going Down

Dear Single Gals,

I think us guys could use some tips on great oral techniques that you girls like.

Tongue Tied

Dear Tongue Tied,

Kudos to you for asking instead of putting the snorkel on and diving in head first. Every woman is different as to what they like, but I think most will agree that you should take your time, be gentle and use that tongue. Check out the link below, this article is right on the mark and “Single Gals” approved.

http://ca.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/36_love_tip.html

Now stud go flex that tongue muscle and make her scream.

Good Luck!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Spank Me

Dear Single Gals,

My boyfriend and I just started having sex. Well I must say that I like it a little rougher than what he's giving. I would love for him to start talking dirty and spank me, but the relationship just started and I don't want him to think I'm a freak. Any advice?

Very Bad Girl


Dear Very Bad Girl,

First off, you’re not a freak, you just like it a little dirty and there’s nothing wrong with that. We think that you should break him in slowly if you feel he may get freaked out. Try giving him little love bites. If you don’t get any resistance to that, then you should talk dirty to him; you can do this while in the act or even throughout the day through e-mail, voice message or text to get him thinking about you in that way. This should prompt his inner beast and get him to voice his dirty thoughts. Once you are both talking dirty to each other, you can take it to the next level and say “I’ve been bad today and need to be spanked” then bend over. If he doesn’t get the hint then he’s just not that bad boy in bed that you want.

Good Luck! We hope you found yourself a fellow freak.

Cheers!
Single Gals

The Ass Man

Dear Single Gals,

How do you get your man to stop licking your ass?

Clenched

Dear Clenched,

Well it seems you found yourself and man with a booty fetish. If this is uncomfortable for you we suggest you tell your man this. However, if you have communicated this already then the alternative would be to put some of Frank’s Hot sauce on your ass. If he likes spicy beef you’re doomed. Another tactic would be to eat a big bowl of Chili and let it rip all night long. By the time you get to the bedroom that will be that last place he wants to go. No man in his right mind would want to put himself in the direct line of fire.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Smooth Lady like moves

Dear Single Gals

When it comes to guys, I'm not the most forward gal and definitely not so great with words. I like this guy and just can't tell him. I’m wondering if it might be best to communicate my messages with body language? How do I begin to learn some sexy but subtle, smooth, lady like moves?"

Sincerely,
Miss Pirouette Wannabee

Dear Miss Pirouette Wannabee,

We would love to help, but we are Single Gals after all and this question is beyond our expertise. However we have googled ‘How to seduce a man’ and here is what we have found:

1)Get your confidence up - Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who is confident, comfortable and happy.

2)Do Flirting Without Talking - Start with almost accidental sidelong glances. You can follow up with a direct look. The moment he looks back, then you instantly lower your eyes and put on an embarrassed smile.

3)Send him little signs :
•Show unclenched hands
•Play with your hair or caress other objects. Push your fingers through your hair
•Pick some fluff of his jacket (even if there is none!)
•Face him directly and slightly lean forward every now and then
•Wet and bite your lips from time to time (According to Cosmo doing this makes him think of other moist places)

4)Get in close - Talk to him, and let him know you like him.

5)Touch his hand accidentally -When you reach for something, try to accidentally touch his hand.

I hope this helps, and if any of this works let us know so we can go out there and get ourselves a man with our moist lips and hair flips.

Good Luck!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Jumping into bed

Dear Single Gals,

When is a good time to jump into bed?

Feisty.

Dear Feisty,

I don’t think there is a definite time line here. You’ve just got to go with what you feel but I definitely don’t think it is wise to jump into the sack on the first date, no matter how hot he is. Take your time to get to know him first because even though we are all adults and should be able to do whatever we feel, there is still a stigma out there that good girls wait. I believe men will judge you as that girl, not the one that he can take home to mom. If you don’t want something long term then do what you want, but if you really like the guy, then wait.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Who Should pay on the first date?

We received a question the other day asking if a guy doesn’t offer to pay on the first date, is it wrong for a girl to be turned off? I think this is an on-going debate between men and women in the dating world and warrants a blog! I have been on a few dates and have come to the conclusion that cheapness is not at all appealing and a definite turn-off. I do understand a man not wanting to fork out tons of cash on a date that they may think is going nowhere, but if they did ask the girl out, then that is the chance they are willing to take and should at least offer to pay. Men, if you are cheap and don’t want to cover the cost of a $50 dinner then ask her out for a drink instead. If you still need to split the $20 bill then you should not be dating.

In most cases, if a girl thinks the bill is excessive she will offer to contribute, I know I do. If you feel the date is not really going anywhere and don’t want to pay just offer to pay, hopefully she’ll say no “let’s split it”...and then you can say that you’ll definitely getting it the next time. If you do really like the girl and want to go on a second date, then pay, there is nothing more to it. Some people may think that is an old fashion way of thinking, but I think some things should stay the same. If a man asks me out, he should take care of it. I know I can pay my own way so I have nothing to prove. I also believe a man should hold the door open for me, carry the heavy stuff and put my patio furniture together. I can do all these things but it is nice once in a while to have someone else do it for you and beside who likes a door being slammed in their face?

Cheers!
Single Gal

Men don’t like bones…

We received an e-mail from ‘The Man” and he wanted us to inform the ladies out there that men DO NOT like bones (unless of course they come with a pitcher of beer and have BBQ beef attached to them). ‘The Man’ went on to say how unappealing and unattractive it is to see women with ribs and hip bones sticking out and he wants to know when did women stop loving their curves? We thought this was a very good question. Why have we stopped loving our curves? Back in the day women were soft and voluptuous - think Marilynn Monroe. Marilyn is the epitome of what a woman should look. She was all women; boobs, hips, apparently a size 12 and she wore it all very well. It’s time we go back to the era when women had hips and were worshiped for them.

Say NO to this:



Say YES to this:



Let’s bring sexy back!!!!!

A big thanks to ‘The Man’, it was nice to hear that some guys still feel this way.

Cheers!

Single Gals

The Bad Boy

What’s with our attraction to bad boys? I don’t know one woman that hasn’t been attracted to one. The characteristics of a typical “Bad boy” are as follows:

1. He is very confident, even cocky

2. He puts himself and his feelings first

3. He keeps women at an emotional distance and often thinks of them as disposable

4. He is not reliable

5. You are undeniably attracted to him because he knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to women, both mentally and physically

Now seeing this list makes us here at Single Gals wonder “how does an intelligent women fall for a guy like this and why?” Let’s break it down by characteristic.

1) Confidence is very appealing in both men and women. You want to feel that your mate is strong and will be there and has your back in any situation. Nobody respects a pushover.

2) We think we can change him into wanting to put us first. We think that we have some special power to change this Bad Boy, powers in which the countless women before us did not have.

3) The emotional distance makes him seems mysterious and intriguing. We want to figure out this Bad Boy and once again help him change his ways.

4) Unreliable = unpredictable = exciting in our minds. We are always wondering what our Bad Boy is up too and hoping that whatever it is, it will involve us.

5) Well great sex makes you stupid!! I think this reason, over all others, is why we seek out the Bad Boy. Their over confidences seep into the bedroom and we lose all reason.

I do believe that every woman should have one Bad Boy experience in her life. It will make you appreciate the Good Guys even more. I also believe that every woman should have at least one encounter consisting of nothing more than mind blowing sex. It will be a great story to tell the girlies when you’re old and grey... hell, even when you’re not!

The Good Guy:



The Bad Boy:



We're Doomed!!!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Balls?

Dear Single Gals,

I know I should be doing something with my partners balls………but I don't know what?! What do guys like? Touching, tickling, sucking? I'm so confused!

Jingle Jangle


Dear Jingle Jangle,

First of all, I believe the majority of men like all of the above, but you should really ask your partner what he wants done. Communication is key.

A girlfriend of mine once read in Cosmo about tying a scrunchy around the balls while sucking or fucking…I’ve never tried this, and have no idea where you could buy a scrunchy now a days, but it’s worth a try. Also, placing a small ice cube in your mouth while sucking the balls (or any other part of the member) seems to get em’ going too. Really, the male organ is not that complicated.

Good luck!

Cheers!
Single Gals

Going Down

Dear Single Gals,

How long should you let your guy 'go down on you' for? Even if he's doing a great job – sometimes it just takes a long time to 'get there'. Is it unfair to have him go longer than 5min? 10min? Do you offer him water?

Getting There

Dear Getting There,

You’re over thinking this and that is probably why it’s taking you a while to ‘get there’. This is where we women falter; we tend to over think everything. Do you think a guy is thinking “wow, she’s been sucking on my unit for the last 15 minutes maybe she’s tired?“ HELL NO. He will enjoy it for as long as you’re willing to do it. So try to relax and enjoy. Don’t put so much thought into how long it’s been, he wouldn’t be there if he didn’t want to be. Also having a bottle of water on your night table is not a bad idea, the least you can do is be a good hostess. If you think this could be an all night thing, you may also want to have goggles and a snorkel handy!

Cheers!
Single Glas

Bad in bed

Dear Single Gals,

If I guy sucks in bed, should you show him what you like, or just bail and run for the hills?

Unsatisfied


Dear Unsatisfied,

It depends on how you feel about him and how long you’ve been dating. If it’s based on a first performance and you really like the guy, then there may be an opportunity for improvement. Just tell him what you like, as stated before, communication is key. If it’s been a while and you’ve expressed your likes and dislikes and still no improvement, then just call it a day and find a man that can make things happen. A well rounded relationship means you connect on all levels.

Cheers!
Single Gals

How men think vs. women

Lately I have been watching Manswers, the man show on Spike. The premise of this show is to answer men’s burning questions while they flash hot, semi nude girls in the back ground. It is quite entertaining and it just makes me laugh. Here are some examples of the burning questions men have these days:
“How to tell if she is a Hooker or a Cop?”
“What is the quickest way to get drunk?”
“What is the biggest bush in America?”
“How do you escape a straight jacket” and
“What is the best time of day to get laid”
Yes ladies these are the questions on the minds of men. They really are very simple creatures and quite funny in my book.

Then we have Oprah the biggest show for women on the planet. The “Big O” (as we here at Single Gals like to call her) covers everything from Health, Relationship, Spirituality and World issues. Here is a list of the show titles that will be on Oprah this week:
A Special report: Tyra Banks and Dating Violence
An overwhelmed mom’s deadly mistake and
Obese families in crises - The intervention

Do you see the difference ladies? While I am also a fan of the Oprah show, there is a great lesson to be learnt from the madness of Manswers…keep it simple. Wouldn’t our lives be a lot happier if we just sat around and wondered “How we could wear the same bra for a whole month” or “How to tell if he is packing or using a bulge enhancer?”

Think about this next time you ask a guy what’s on his mind and he tells you “nothing”. There is a 99% chance that is the actual truth. However, if he does give you an answer, it’s probably gonna be “are natural boobs getting bigger?”

So ladies give yourself a break once in a while and think like a man and see how much happier you’ll feel. Start by checking out Manswers response to “what does the shape of her boobs tell you about her personality?’

Reading Boobs? | SpikeTV | SPIKE.com

Cheers!
Single Gal

There are some things a girl just does not need to know…

I am referring to this new trend of having the nutrition info listed on menus. I was recently reading my Clean Eating magazine when I came across an article talking about how they started listing the calories ranges at some NYC restaurants. While we here at Single Gals love to indulge in the occasional plate of poutine, nachos and beer, we also try to lead healthy fit lives. We workout on a regular basis, our activities of choice being hot yoga, classes, running and weights. So if once or twice a month we want to go out for dinner, do we really need to know that we’ve just eaten a whole days worth of calories in one meal? I have no problem with this information being available upon request, because if a person eats something on a regular basis such as Big Mac’s, Iced Caps, etc than they may want to educate themselves as to what they’re putting in their body. However, having this info on the actual menu is taking it one step to far. I think that as a society we are very well aware of what we’re doing to our bodies when we order that loaded bake potato to go with our steak. We do not need it glaring us in the face.



For most people going out to dinner is a special occasion or a monthly treat. They want to enjoy this rare indulgence without having to feel guilty that they ate pasta is a cream sauce. We are such a food obsessed society, whether it’s dealing with the obesity issue or other eating disorders. To me it seems these issue were not as prevalent in the past or maybe it was because they were not being constantly shoved down our throats.

So ladies have the dinner with the girls, don’t worry about the fat or calorie content, remember it is a treat and that you don’t do this everyday and just enjoy. Life is short, live it well and enjoy your vices once in awhile. Everything is good in moderation.


Cheers!
Single Gal

The Fountain of Youth.

Here is the latest issue of Life & Style Weekly on newsstands now. My first reaction was AS IF!!! I seriously do not believe Angelina is worrying about getting old or losing movie roles to a younger “clone of herself”. First, she is too busy adopting half the third world and as a friend stated when hearing this “I highly doubt that Angelina is sitting there thinking she needs to play Shia LeBoeuf’s girlfriend in a Transformers movie. Really that is redonkulous!” I’m not sure why people buy these magazines because I think they just cause insecurities. If Angelina is worried about getting old what’s the average gal gonna do? Since getting older is a fact of life why don’t they start promoting the art of growing old gracefully? What happened to seeing the beauty in laugh lines or the wisdom behind those wrinkles? You don’t get wrinkles without learning a few things along the way. The North American culture fights so hard against aging. We all want to be 20 forever and we have no respect for the elderly or what they could teach us but instead are more focused on our “deep wrinkles” and “crows feet”. The saddest thing about this story is they will rerun it with a million different angles for weeks to come and even though we are smart gals, eventually it will start to seep into our subconscious and we’ll be contemplating botox before we know it. Because if Angie’s worrying, then so should we. It is a constant struggle to find the fountain of youth and ladies; I am going to share it with you. The secret to the fountain of youth is WATER! There is no special fountain to get water, any fountain will do as long as there is water coming out of it. Well I guess I should go put on my Olay Definity Night Restorative Sleep Cream (Diminishes hyperpigmentation, discoloration PLUS wrinkles for luminous skin). Hey, it’s the least this average gal can do or I may get pushed off the sidewalk to make room for a younger version.

Cheers!
Single Gal

Commitment Phase

Dear Single Gals,

How do you know if he’s in the commitment phase?

Committed

Dear Committed,

First ask your guy to define commitment, if he runs to the Webster’s dictionary then we’re gonna say he is NOT at this phase. On a serious note, I think if your guy is totally committed to you, then you will not need to ask this question. Once again refer back to “He’s just not that into you”. If you don’t have the book we strongly recommend you grab a copy. If he’s into you, you’ll know it. He’ll want to spend time with you, call you and meet your friends and family.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Booty Call

Dear Single Gals,

My guy wants to get serious and I don’t. How do I keep him around as a booty call?

Want My Cake


Dear Want My Cake,

Wow you found a guy that wants to get serious? Crazy.
Honestly, it’s not really fair to him if he wants to get serious. Let him know you don’t and then go find yourself another booty call.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Messy or Clean?

Dear Single Gals,

Why do some guys like to do it when you’re menstruating and others don’t?

What Gives


Dear What Gives,

We think it all depends how long it’s been since they have gotten some. Maybe he just got out of prison and a little bit of messy sex is great after you’ve been getting it up the butt for 5 years.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Do guy notice the difference?

Dear Single Gals,

Do guys notice different vaginas?

Loosey

Dear Loosey,

Were gonna say that no they don’t. We think most guys are just happy to have a naked chick in bed with them. Guys can you verify this? If we are wrong please e-mail us at asksinglegals@single-gals.com.

Cheers!
Single Gals

Twitter is for Twits…

Single Chick recently googled Twitter because someone had suggested that it may be a good tool for us to promote our website. She sent me the link with the message “Twitter is ridiculous!” I watched the promo video & I agree…Ridiculous!

Insert Video link


Seriously people, do we need to know that Bob in Halifax is scratching his balls or that Jane in Chicago is bloated? Are we so afraid to be out there living life that we’d rather be glued to our monitors reading about other peoples mundane activities? A few months back I was at a coffee shop with a friend having a conversation (This is a spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings) when we noticed this couple sitting across from each other both typing away on their laptops, no talking just typing. They were probably talking dirty to each other via MSN. Is this the future of foreplay? I certainly hope not. Twitter is just another way to kill verbal communication. Unless Wentworth Miller



is Tweeting that he is on his way over to my apartment with a six pack and a pizza I could care less what people are doing. GO LIVE LIFE. IT IS AN AWESOME ADVENTURE!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Crabs Anyone?

Crabs (pubic Lice) – Is a sexually transmitted disease in which pubic lice infest the genital area of males and females, creating an itching sensation. Sometimes the pubic lice can be seen crawling in the pubic area. YUCK!

The following is a conversation that I had with my ex let’s call him “Fucked in the head” one evening after I got home from the gym.

Single Gal - “Hey how was your day?”
Interpretation – “Did you send out any resumes today, or just play video games?”

F’D in the head – “Do you use the bathroom at the gym?”
Interpretation – “I’m Fucked in the head”

Single Gal - “Sure if the need arises, in fact I’ve used facilities all over the city. Why?”
Interpretation-“You are seriously Fucked in the head”

F’D in the head – “Do you think you got crabs from the toilet seat?”
Interpretation-“My balls are itchy it must be crabs”

Single Gal - “No, because I do not have crabs!!”
Interpretation-“My God he is insane!”

F’D in the head –“Are you sure?”
Interpretation-“My Balls are itchy, what else could it be?”

Single Gal - “Do you see me scratching my puss? Do you know what crabs are? They are pubic lice! If you have them you did not get them from me!
Interpretation-“Get the hell out of my house you are Fucked in the head”

F’D in the head –“My balls are itchy”

Single Gal - “Then shower”

F’D in the head –“Well I do have a scratch on my balls maybe that is why they are itching?”

Single Gal - “Maybe you should shower more often then you would not scratch so hard down there.”
Interpretation – “Jackass”

F’D in the head – “Why are you mad? It’s not like I accused you of cheating?”
Interpretation – “What’s her problem? It’s totally reasonable to accuse her of giving me crabs”

Single Gal - “You’re Fucked in the head!”


I will say now that this incident makes me laugh, for 2 reasons.

1) It’s so obscure and insane that you have to laugh

2) I think this may be him???



If only they had Ball deodorant and this conversation would not have happened. I think Speedstick should get on that.

Cheers!
Single Gal

Trimming the bush makes the tree look taller…

This ingenious slogan comes to you from Gillette. They have made a YouTube series on “manscaping”. We are all for manscaping here at Single Gals. Yes it is very manly to have hair on your chest; however when it comes to hairy backs we draw the line. Boys please do not get offended because women everyday are either shaving their bits and pieces, applying makeup, wearing heels all for the sake of getting your attention. The least you can do is a little maintenance. This first video is on how to shave your groin area. It looks to me that Gillette thinks that you need to shave it all off, actually we prefer that you didn’t. A trim will do just fine because if we wanted to go to Bush Gardens we’d visit the park.



This second video is on how to shave your back. This is very good advice. If it looks as though you’re wearing a wool sweater all year round then it is time to shave. This video illustrates that you will need help so don’t be shy to ask your girlfriend, wife or fling, believe me they will be more than happy to assist.




Good job stud! Now that you are done with the grooming go out there and impress the ladies with your tall tree!!!

Cheers!
Single Gal

Question of the Week

Dear Single Gals,

When do you think the shift from “Men being men” to ‘Men being pansies” occurred and why?

Curious

I think the shift occurred when feminism became very prominent and the birth control pill became accessible in the 60’s. In other words, feminism screwed us consistently single gals. Back in the day, men were “men” because they went to work, paid the bills, voted, fixed the house and could get a woman pregnant. They were in charge (or at least thought they were). Then these damn feminists came along and screamed bloody murder about equal rights and gave away our secrets (that we’re smarter, more pain tolerant and just damn better). As soon as it became evident that women could pretty much do everything a man could do (and do it better) and enjoy sex without getting pregnant, is when the man freaked out and lost his balls. It was a sad day when we started growing our armpit hair (but please don’t do that).

Cheers!
Single Chick