How to Speak "Womeneese"

This is for all the guys out there, I know we can be hard on you sometimes but it's not your fault you just lack the proper interpretation skills..This should help you out a bit.

Dictionary for Personal Ads

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average Looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free Spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Formerly 'friendly' person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large Frame - Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate - Stalker

Wonmen's English

1) Yes = No
2) No = Yes
3) Maybe = No
4) We need = I want
5) I'm Sorry = you'll be sorry
6) We nee to talk = you're in trouble
7) Sure,go ahead = you better not
8) Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9) I'm not upset = of course I'm upset, you Jackass!
10) You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about

For the ladies guy's are very simple but just in case you need to be reminded here some help interpreting what's on a man's mind...

Man's English

1)I'm hungry = I'm Hungry
2)I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
3)I'm tired = I'm tired
4)Nice dress = nice cleavage
5)I love you = let's have sex
6)I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
7) May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8)Can I call you sometime?= I'd like to have sex with you
9)Do you want to go to a movie = I'd like to have sex with you
10)Can i take you to dinner = I'd like to have sex with you
11) Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

Cheers!
Single Gal