Why do you choose the men you do?

I recently picked up ‘She Crazy, He’s a Liar’ by Cecily Knobler it's a fun read about the woes of dating. There is a chapter about your chooser, why we choose the men we do.

This got me to thinking why do I choose the men I do.  I get weak in the knees over a man with long hair, nice lips, and a great smile. Throw some tattoos, a love for heavy metal and dogs in the mix and all hope for me is lost. 

This all started when I was eight years old and my first real crush was on my best friends neighbour, let’s call him Jake. Jake was about 19, long brown hair, blue eyes, lips to die for and the greatest smile. Jake would wash his yellow mustang every Saturday, wearing nothing but skin tight jeans and playing ACDC ‘s  ‘Balls to the wall’. I would hang out on my friend’s fence and chat with Jake about how immature my brothers were, and tell him all the reason why I hated the color pink. Thinking about it now I realize Jake probably turned out to be one of the good ones, because at the age of 19 he humored an 8 year old who was obviously in love with him. Ever since I laid eyes on Jake that is the kind of guy I lust after, and it probably explains why the mustang is my favorite car.

Is this where I am going wrong? My brother tells me whatever it is that you’re doing do the opposite because what you’re doing now isn’t working. Hmm I was thinking he may have a point but the one time I did not go after a ‘Jake’ it turned out to be the worst relationship of my life. All the ‘Jakes’ in the past were great guys, the break-ups were mutual to some degree, there was never any mean words or nastiness involved. When I did the opposite, he was opposite in everything I would go for, he had no lips, never smiled, his sense of humor was at the expense of others and he did not appreciate heavy metal. What was I thinking?! Oh yeah I was thinking try something different. This relationship lasted way longer then it should have; it was the first time in my life that I had told someone that I hated them and meant it. So is my chooser really off? I had chosen well before, and did not experience the nasty side of dating until I went against my norm. However now it’s much harder to find the Jake’s out there, especially when you live in a city where the Metro Sexual Man thrives. Is my chooser really broken or do I just need to fine tune it?  

Cheers!

Hopeful in TO