How I kept the peace between two countries...

In June I received a text from Queen B... ‘Flights to Hawaii $600.00 are you in?’ my response ‘Hell YES, when?’ So come October 8^th we were hitting the friendly skies with our freshly waxed bits and pieces, painted toes, cellular travel plan, and a big bottle of Advil. 

We spent 9 glorious days traveling the islands of Hawaii. Our vacation started off with a 2 night stay in Honolulu,  4 days on the  Big Island , 2 days in Maui and our last night was back in Honolulu. We sang karaoke, partied with the locals, zipped lined over waterfalls, walked through Volcano’s, drove a kick ass jeep and survived the Hana Hwy. My only disappointment was I didn’t get a Lei, I was seriously hoping that when we landed in Maui that we would be greeted by big buff Hawaiian hotties in their floral wraps ready to place the Lei around our necks.  I have to assume that getting a Lei when you land in Hawaii is just TV show propaganda; because if you want one you have to pay $5 and you can get one out of a vending machine. I don’t know about you but this Gal is not going to pay to get a Lei...Snap!

Before we left Toronto that we had decided that we were going to party it up our last night.  Off to the pub we go, Queen B with the determination of getting us a Lei before we leave and me with the unbeknownst mission of keeping the peace between two countries.

While at the pub Queen B is entertaining the troops with her stolen Lei (yes she got one!); in walks the Australian Outback, Holla! My first thought was ‘How does a Gal get his attention’ and my second thought was ‘why didn’t I workout while on vacation’.  I won’t bore you with details but I got the Hunky Aussie’s attention and somewhere between my professed love of Mad Max and my favourite song being Black by Pearl Jam the Hunky Aussie invited me up to his room. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I so wanted to go with him, but my first impulse was to say no because that stupid little voice was saying excuse me don’t you remember that you’ve been drinking, eating fried food and haven’t worked out in two weeks, what are you thinking? Lucky for me I have mastered the art of silencing that little voice and ran to the bathroom to text my closest gal pals at home that I was invited up to a Hot Aussie’s room. Single Chick was the first to respond ‘Do It!!! Oh and get a picture...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’ 

Needless to say I ended up in the Hunky Aussie room and later he ended up in mine. I didn’t feel self conscious nor did that little voice come back to taunt me. I’m not one for divulging the dirty details but let’s just say the view from the 30^th floor suite of the Hilton is so much better bent over the railing. 

My selfless act of porn star debauchery has now created a bond between two countries. Not only was I able to knock Hawaii of my life list but I also went International. I tackled the Australian Outback and managed only to get a few bruises and a sprained foot. Be warned Gals if you haven’t had any sexcapades in a while your coordination may be off. Thank you Australia for making this Canadian girl feel oh so special and I am going to hold you to your promise of making it up to me for the sprained foot. 

In case you’re wondering what Queen B was up to while I was keeping the peace between nations. Let’s just say she showed up at our room the next morning with her hair all amuck and two coffee’s in her hands. Now you know you have a good friend when she is willing to do that walk of shame through Starbucks and the hotel lobby just to bring you a much needed morning cup of Joe. 

So Gals ask yourself ...What have you done for your country lately?

MA-HOLA!